We are all familiar with the " FOR IDIOTS" series of "How To" manuals. I wasn't about to entitle this post "Yoga for Idiots" being a yogic "witness" , but the proliferation of this demographic in my favorite class time slots necessitates some snark & loving humor.
So , where shall we begin :
1. Urdhva mukha svanasana vs. bhujangasana.
There was a reason these two poses were named after different creatures , namely a DOG & a COBRA. One stretches upwards ( see illustration via www.yogalifestyle.com ) while balancing on hands & feet. This is an element of classic Ashtanga Surya Namaskar A. A cobra slithers through low, closer to the ground (your legs and feet are the tail) and spreads its hood( your shoulders ). That is the diff , comprende?
When I see someone cluelessly propping themselves up looking like a hybrid of both, I think it's time for the teacher to get pro-active & demo the vinyasa . And if no teacher comes to the rescue, check out Nico Lucesoli's vinyasa on MyYoga Online for reference.
2. Chatasana & Cellulasana.
Another favorite of mine. Since your LOUD and CALLOUS conversation ( when it is obvious I am focusing for the class ahead) has proven you are LIGHT in the cerebral region ( lots of air between the ears) , why can't you FLOAT into Virabhadrasana 3 then?
And , if your spiritual sonar was as LOUD as your cheesy cell / mobile phone ring tone, then perhaps you would remember to shut it off in class.
Being truthful means giving the suggested DONATION. And if I hear you say aloud " It's OK to donate just a dollar "one more time, I will ask Kali & Patanjali to pay you a personal visit and sort you right, baby-
Ujjayii is the victorious breath, often compared to the sound of the ocean, and this being LA, sometimes to Darth Vader . So, MOANING & GROANING , in the hopes of calling attention to yourself , like you were in P. Hilton's home video does not fall into that description.
Agni was the Vedic god of fire. In vinyasa, the journey is to stoke the internal fires & sweat out the toxins. Lose the WATER BOTTLE then during class. This aint no spin class . And yeah, the one beyotching you couldn't bend or twist , that's because your gut was full of H2O.
Don't think Santa Monica has a lock on this. Jivamukti NewYork now has a section on their website for " Yoga Manners". A good one from them: Don't chew GUM during class, most especially during Ustrasana , you might choke .
Namaste and avoid those water bottle land mines, heh heh -