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Guns & Yoga : True Life Tales

Posted Sep 12 2008 3:57pm

25funny190 Patton Oswalt had a True Life Tale in the New York Sunday Times Magazine entitled " Guns & Yoga".

When I first read his title , the first thought that came to mind was upper armature development from vinyasa or chatturanga , as in " big guns ". Nope, Oswald means guns as in weapons of singular destruction. Admittedly, yoga does have that spiritual warrior vibe going on , ( think virabhadrasana 1-3 ) .

Here's the disconnect though :

"Later that day, I took a restorative yoga class. Shooting guns and taking yoga on the same day was the biggest “You got chocolate in my peanut butter!” moment I’ve had so far in my life. Guns and yoga are French fries dipped in a milkshake. Scotch and ginger ale. Elvis Costello’s “This Year’s Model” after a bad breakup. Reruns of “Law and Order” and having no life: they’re good together.

You shoot better when you realize that your soul is a leaf falling through time, and that work shouldn’t equal struggle. And yoga never aligns you with the universe better than when your forearm is still tingling from the buck and recoil of a .357 bullpup.

Someone needs to open a combination shooting range and yoga studio. I’m serious. Maybe I should do it. Hose off a few clips of Glaser safety slugs, then see how deep you can go into Warrior II. The murder rate would go down. No, wait — it would stay the same, but people would realize it’s all part of a bigger plan. Or, no, it would go up, because people would realize the transitory nature of existence, and that everything that has happened or is going to happen is always happening someplace forever, so why not put a slug in that dude’s head who won’t stop talking during “300”? "

And here is Oswald perpetuating stereotypes and / or overcompensating :

" I was the only guy in yoga class. In fact, I was the only non-soccer mom in class ".

Dude, did you walk into Golden Bridge Yoga's pre-natal class by mistake ?

Namaste, weekend warrior -

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