When I first began my teacher training the first thing that suffered was my own home practice. I went to classes two or three times a week, but what with the studying and the lesson planning and working full time I often found I had no time for self-practice and when I did, I never really got into it as I was always thinking about how I would teach each posture, each krama, each vinyasa.
Now things have changed. I'm fully qualified, teaching four nights a week and maintaining a gentle self-practice and meditation each evening. But I have no time to attend class. This disappoints me somewhat. Yoga is a lifelong journey, I may have the piece of paper that tells me I'm a teacher but in my eyes I am still a student, still learning off those more experienced than me, still desperately wanting to be inspired by my two teachers. Yet here I am again, writing of "enough"; not having enough time.
Evening classes are out due to my own teaching, and as I'm working full time for another two weeks so are daytime classes. Now yoga may be my passion, my chosen career path and my life but I really really don't much fancy a 9.30 Saturday morning class either! So for now I must reluctantly continue with my self-practice, knowing that "enough" (and that lovely Monday morning flow class) is just around the corner.
My inability to make it to class recently has also made me think about my own students. The ones who pay for class passes and then don't turn up again, the ones who don't come for weeks at a time. I don't know what is going on in their lives and I have no reason to know, it is their life and their privacy. But I mustn't let my ego get in my way and think they are not coming because of anything I've done wrong. I must allow them to live their lives how they see fit, knowing they will return to yoga when the time is right for them.
I have to say though, I'm really looking forward to being able to go back to class.