As I have been reflecting on Satya, or truthfulness, this week, I have come to a conclusion. Are you ready?
I am lucky to have the problems I have.
Now, that certainly doesn’t mean they aren’t painful or don’t cause me any concern, but in the grand scheme of things, my problems are indicative of the good fortune in my life.
So in a nutshell, here it is. I have plenty of food available, of which I eat too much when I am worrying about my problems, but that’s for another paragraph. I don’t live in a war-zone, a drug-zone or a place with a lack of resources. I am not oppressed, except by my own mind and limitations. I could go on and on about the opportunities that I have available to me simply because I was born into a certain family, in a certain place, during a certain time in history.
Back to my worries, which make up the bulk of my problems, if not all of them. I worry about the fact that I feed my worry (see food blessings above). What kind of impression do I make on others? Am I likeable? Will I still be married in 15 years? If not, what will I do to make a living? And if I am still married, what will I be doing with my life? Why am I here? What is my purpose? Am I aging gracefully? Am I getting fat? Is my daughter happy or should I start a mental health fund for her? Should we have a second child? You get the drift. I could keep going, ad nauseum.
So the pity of it all is that I fret over incredibly small, self-centered details that are of consequence only to me and my fragile ego instead of actually living my life. WOW! Because in this very moment, my daughter frolicks happily in a warm bath while my husband cleans up the dishes from a nourishing meal. I am quite tired out, which feels good and I am looking forward to slipping into clean sheets, in a comfortable bed, next to the people dearest to me. I enjoy good health, as do the members of my family. I have the great pleasure of enough mental real estate to reflect on spirituality and life, not to mention the time to write it down for you to read.
Being here feels good. It feels, well, decadent, to just enjoy this moment and accept the blessings of my life. The truth is, tomorrow, everything could change. But I bet my petty worries would still be there even if I didn’t pay them any mind for a while.