How's Your Global EQ?

We seem to be everywhere 

You and I are probably doing more business globally than we ever imagined. Whether it's by phone,email, or in person, our international interactions continue to increase.

That means more opportunities for new and interesting relationships--as well as the chance to unwittingly insult an entire room full of customers or colleagues. I recently did aseries of posts  during a consulting and coaching engagement in France. Our group of 54 hadeleven different first languagesand nationalities represented. And the meeting ran smoothly from beginning to end.

So on the way back to the U.S. I began writing a post about culture and business. Then, voilà! I arrived home, started checking some of my favorite blogs, and foundPam Slim's  riff onHow not to be a culture knucklehead in a global business world. The comments started piling up there and I thought "Well, maybe I better trash my post. Pam's got it covered." And, I didn't want to appear as if I was suddenly piggybacking on Pam's energy. Just before hitting the Delete key, it occurred to me that this is what blogging and sharing and community is all about. So I went back, looked at Pam's post & comments, made some revisions to mine in order to avoid duplication, and decided to roll with it. So, here goes.

Here is my (hopefully) cathartic confession

I've been traveling globally--regularly--since 1975. During that time I've lived or worked in 15  countries on four continents. As a result, I've been fortunate enough to go on holiday in other countries located near my engagements. I'm also tuned in to cultural differences and sensitivities and can get around in other languages, one fluently. Which makes me wonder: Just what was my brain doing when I uttered these?

    "Enchanté. And my, you have a lovely prostitute."

Ithink in many ways this is my favorite faux pas. It was in 1980, the sun was shining over the Champs Elysee, and I was feeling linguistically smug having spent the day shopping for a full wardrobe in Paris after my luggage went toYugoslavia.

The words above were uttered when I met my client and his wife for dinner. My smugness led me to try out a colloquial phrase which I thought meant something else. It meant just what you see above.

Lesson to learn:Every language has numerous meanings for a single word, especially in certain contexts. I now stick to whatever noun is listed as (1.) in the dictionary. Life has been good as a result.

Related lesson:If you are going to mistakenly observe that your client  is married to a prostitute, adding the word "lovely" seems to soften the impact.

    "Would you please pass me a Tampon?"

Oh, fine, go ahead and laugh. You mean that's not one ofyournormal dinner table requests?

I couldn't have been in a more proper and uptight setting. Dining with a School Headmaster and his wife at their home in South Africa. She emitted a high-pitched squeal that still hurts my ears after 30 years.

What had I done? I simply asked for anapkin. (Right. Think about that word). The correct request would have been for aserviette. The aftermath was so, uh, distasteful, that I still ask for a serviette even if I'm at Burger King. "Could you super-size my serviette?"

Lesson to learn:British English and American English do not translate universally. I know that we all recognize this, but it extendswaypast the tube/subway, chips/fries, and hood/boot differences. So check outthis,this,and by all meansthis.

Related lesson:When asking for something at dinner in a different culture, directly ask the person of the same gender as you. I don't think Winston would have been as trashed as his wife was. And his verbal response wouldn't have been at a pitch designed to be heard only by Schnauzers.



Other related lesson: Doing weird things can sometimes score you some good sympathy stuff. They gave me a little etiquette book in order to broaden my Englamericish linguistic horizons. 

    "Hey, Let Me Show You My Ed Sullivan Impersonation"

So this one is dating me. Go ahead and laugh if you want to. But I do a really, really good Ed Sullivan. Unfortunately, I did it in front of 2,000 people in a country that--at the time--did not have television!

I was on a 60-day speaking tour in Africa with 4 other businessmen. We got to know each other very well and I became known as "the guy who does Ed Sullivan." So toward the end of the tour, one of the guys (Dan) leaned over as I was walking to the stage and said, "Do your Ed Sullivan. It'll knock 'em out."

So I did.

Have you ever seen 2,000 people--waiting for a motivational speech--gasp in unison? I was amazed at their collective timing. But Dan, behind me, insisted that I was "better than ever" and should maybe do Ed Sullivan introducingBob Dylan  singing "Like A Rolling Stone." So I did both.

Our sponsor received a phone callandTelex questioning my mental capacity (heck, my capacity was great. You should haveheardthe Dylan thing). When we returned, I had to account for my "lapse" in judgment:

"Didn't you know those people don't have TV's?"

"You mean not even black and white?"

"You are a dork."

"You wouldn't say that if you saw the Ed Sullivan/Bob Dylan combo."

Lesson to learn:Media are powerful. And to this day, media as we know them do not exist everywhere. Andeverywheremeans places you may go. Check out the local media accessibility and listening/viewing habits before you get there. It will also help you understand what people may--ormay not--be talking about.

Related lesson: Do what you were supposed to do in the  Speaking contract. Anything extra is at your own risk.

Other related lesson:Your colleagues are all emotionally still in high school. One-on-one they pass as adults. But in a small group, they would love nothing more than to find some way to play a prank on you in front of as many people as possible. So what should you do? 

Be part of the small group that plays the prank on someone else. Heck, just because you can make a speech for money doesn't mean that you shouldn't act your mental guy age. Think about it. Even now, every time your mom sees you shestillsays, "Grow up!"

Nah.

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Note: This article originally ran in January, 2007. I'm sequestered in two days of talent management design sessions at a client location in Pennsylvania but will be checking emails and comments. If you have any good Pennsylvania jokes, send them this way.