There once was war raging inside me before the court of life. The experience of a clarion bell ringing throughout my entire life, requires a constant state of positive mental attitude as well as knowing a southern cross from a connected left hook in a four cornered ring that landed me in the fight game and drew a stadium full of straw weight female spectators rearing for a fight, unlike them I had no choice but to pick a corner and step into the center of the ring.
Women boxers train daily, mental and physical conditioning, spiritual strength and of course emotional control. Flurries of jabs, right cross, upper cuts, and sparring each other, including the challenges of sparring men in sweat, blood and walking away battered by devoting ourselves in training, taking demands from a man who knows or suppose to know the true science of art.
Women in position of boxing are different from society today, women are hungry for success, women dream and are inspired by other women boxer's who continues to strive and maintain a high level of self motivation, she endures discomfort and stress out with the sacrifices of her time and energy.
As a retired professional female boxer, my head was exposed to repetitive trauma. There were many hours spent believing everything would be all right- by learning true, right and correct, hoping someday my life would change. Waiting for anything, to give me back what I knew I had lost. They say "getting hit in the head just once can change you forever."
In silence I thought of ending my life and nobody would know. This is a reminder of letting me know where I've been after my boxing career. I use to feel undestroyable! I do not have to like the changes in my life, but I do have to deal with them knowing the brain can adapt, heal, renew itself after trauma. I know I will never be the same,but I have to be satisfied with who I am right now. I was diagnosed with Dementia Pugilistica, this includes some frontal lobes injury, but I can say " I will not be defeated!"