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Throwing in the Towel?

Posted Jul 31 2009 11:46am
I'm considering stopping treatments of all kinds. I am exhausted, emotionally and physically. The drugs just bog me down and I for sure have to get off of them before I start grad school in the fall. I am going to be working so hard I need to be going at %100.

So far I have gotten no results from any of the treatments I have tried, and to be completely honest I kind of want to just live in a state of denial for the next few years. I don't have the energy to have this be an issue while I am in school. Every doctor's appointment, every PT appointment, every pill that I take is a constant reminder of this thing that I live with. I am one of the "lucky" ones that don't have sypmtoms unless triggered by sex, so I can pretend like this is not a part of my life.

At this point I don't really have a reason to be working towards a pain free life. I'm single and have been for quite a long time, so motivation is hard to stir up. If I can live the life I have right now without treatment, why not just take a break. The next few years are going to be focused on school and career and not relationships anyway.

I know that my doctor is going to tell me that it stopping treatment is not a good idea cause when I need it it won't be there. But is that reason alone enough to continue putting myself through this all the time.

I'm just tired and don't know what to do, or what decision to make
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