I sat listening to a client* talk about the stress and tension she felt trying to manage her ' To Do List' . She talked about the frustration of never ' being done' and shared feelings of loss of control over her own life. She described disappointment with the people in her life, how they were letting her down. I asked her what she wanted for herself and without missing a beat words tumbled out of her mouth describing in delicious detail the desires and wants that were essential for her well-being, which she kept locked up in the world behind her eyes. I said, "It seems that you have a ' To Do List' for tasks and a ' You Do List' for others, but what about an ' I Do List' ?" She asked, "What is an I Do List?" "Well," I said, "An ' I Do List' is a list of things that are essential to your well-being. Things that are essential for your emotional, physical and spiritual health. Look," I said, "When we outsource our happiness to others, we become the source of our own suffering. When we steadfastly put others first and don' t allow ourselves to do essential life-sustaining things that we know are important for our well-being and happiness, we are the source of our own suffering. The good news is that we have the remedy." Her spirit seemed to lift as we discussed this in more detail.
The simple I DO LIST REMEDY:
Make a list of your wants, needs and desires.
Put your list in various places, so it frequently catches your eye .
Put your ' I' time on your calender as an appointment that is as important as a doctor' s appointment, a child' s soccer game, or chemotherapy.
Remember the only person you can control is yourself.
Enjoy becoming the person you are meant to be.
*Although the inspiration for the ' I Do List' came to me while meeting with a particular client, the description of portions of that meeting is a composite of many clients.
Share your thoughts about an ' I Do List' and the impact your ' I Do List' is having on your life, by clicking the Comment button below.
Over-saying yes to others is under-saying yes to yourself