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Mark Mother's Day with a mixture of gratitude and forgiveness

Posted May 07 2011 12:00am

Momcupcakesbyclevercupcakes Mother's Day starts the second a women gives birth and continues each and every day thereafter.

May 8th is Mother's Day, the official day set aside to give thanks to mothers.

During the past thirty years that I have been helping people heal and create happier lives, mothers have been a universal feature in the story lines of my clients. 

For better or worse, we would not be alive without mothers.  Mothers have the awesome ability to create lives.

They also have the incredible responsibility to shape lives and this is where things can go amok.

Some women have an innate gift of mothering and do a fantastic job building  self-esteem, creating confidence and resiliancy in their children.

Other women struggle more to parent well but they hang in there, get help and support and do a good enough job of raising their children.

Yet some women fail miserably at this task.  They criticize, abuse, ignore, neglect or are ill and unable to caretake and parent adequately.

All children deserve good mothering. 

All adults deserve to heal from inadequate or abusive mothering.

If you were blessed with a great or good-enough mother, enjoy Mother's Day with the best celebration you can muster.

If you are suffering the loss of a mother, use Mother's Day to remember, reflect, and give thanks.

If your mother did not earn the title of being a mother to you in the way you want, need, and deserve, use Mother's Day to heal a bit more.  Grieve what is needed, let go of what you can't control, reduce your expectations, find an alternate source for mothering, and mother yourself.

The Fetzer Institute has a link to a great exercise on forgiveness .  Try it and see if it helps to heal your hurt.

Whether you had a great mom, a so-so mom, or a broken mom, finding the best way to mark this day is not for wimps.  It takes courage to look your mom in the eye, find yourself reflected, and figure out the best way to honor the gender that gives life.

Any way you slice it, Mother's Day is for everyone.

Here's to the power of women to create and shape lives!


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