An old friend of mine recently lost her younger brother. He had just turned 18 years old and his death was senseless and tragic. He left behind his beloved sister and her young daughter who adored him. It is an absolute tragedy in all regards. While, thankfully, I have never lost someone in my immediate family, I can relate to my friend's pain through my experience of Meredith's death. It was one of the mostexcruciatinglypainful experiences of my life and I can say with certainty that it took years to recover from.
Looking back, I'm not sure anyone could have given me advice that would have made her death less awful. So once again, I'm reminded of the power of being in the moment and accepting that moment for what it is. The pain feels insurmountable...so don't try to surmount it. The pain feels like it will never go away...so don't run from it. Does that feel unbearable some, if not most, of the time? Absolutely. But that is the only way to truly recover from a catastrophic loss. People do all sorts of things to deal with pain - they ignore it, bury it, numb it, internalize it, externalize it - they do anything and everything to not FEEL it. But the only way to get to the other side is to feel it and trust that you can handle it. And lots of love and support from friends and family is always good too. If you need a therapist to help you work through your grief, check out:http://locator.apa.org/.
"Some People" is something that I found tremendous comfort in after Meredith's death. It helped me re-frame my relationship with her and her untimely death. Maybe it will help you or someone you know....
Some people come into our lives and quickly go
Some people move our souls to dance
They awaken us to new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom
Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon
They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints on our hearts