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You Have to Lose Weight for the Wedding: Not a Favorite Pastime

Posted Mar 18 2011 5:00am

Weight loss techniques elude me. The key to weight loss is something hidden from me. What I’m very good at is putting weight on.

It’s my nephew’s wedding in June, and so the “Dresscapade” has started.

What exactly is that? It’s 180-pound-me trying to find a dress to wear that will (a) hide fat, (b) be somewhat in style, meaning not too frumpy, and (c) be something I love, which is pretty impossible in my size.

I know this dress-for-the-wedding drill all too well. Today I realized I am totally sick of it. I did it for my daughter’s wedding, and for every wedding I’ve been to in the past ten years. It’s not pretty. But it is symbolic.

It tells of different diets I’ve been on that didn’t work. It tells of how I feel bad about myself. It makes me know at a very deep level that I am feeling inferior to other women. It tells me I’m ashamed, no matter what I wear, no matter how cute my shoes are to go with the dress, no matter how perfectly my hair comes out, no matter how impeccably shaped and polished my nails are, no matter how expertly I put on my makeup.

These weddings always catch me by surprise, as does spring when it comes and forces me to take my coat off. Then there’s summer, and I am visible, for all the world to see.

Now that I’ve come clean about this, I think I can actually face it. Now that would be something. Because my son is getting married next year, and I swear I won’t need to face this drama again. It’s time for it to end.

And I don’t mean losing 10 pounds for the wedding and then put it back on. I mean facing the inferiority complex, the shame, the being out of control, in other words, the hard stuff. Finally.

 

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