And so getting back to the events of last week, even though I was able to quickly understand what was happening on an emotional level, I didn’t realize that there was something physical going on too. And I should KNOW by now that when I feel binge-y and hungrier than “normal” it’s due to hormone imbalance, not a character flaw. But no, I actually went there for a little while.
I’m due to see the hormone specialist soon and was asked to test my hormones via saliva in March or April. Saliva is supposed to be collected on days 19, 20 or 21 of my cycle and day 19 was last week…the day I got my period, which turned it into day one. If I can’t even make it to day 19, how I am supposed to complete the test?
I have a call into the specialist.
In the meantime? Once the blood letting started, all was right with the world once again. Equilibrium was restored and control was taken out of the equation. I’m eating when hungry, I’m not “too” hungry, I’m not hungry for carby/salty/sweet, and I’m not hungry at times when I know I shouldn’t be. I trust my body. My body is telling me that something is “off” and I need to get it addressed.
Some bits of wisdom that came out of last week’s craziness:
The minute I start making my life harder than it has to be, the minute my life becomes harder than it has to be.
When I’m honest with myself, it allows me to trust myself, and thus I don’t need to prove anything, nor do I need to get approval from others.
Have you considered that the reason you feel out of control around food (if, in fact, you do) might be due to hormonal and/or other physical imbalances and not to a character flaw, personal weakness, or lack of “willpower”?