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Weighing In

Posted May 24 2010 8:34am

I am a self-admitted scale junky. Not a day goes by where I don’t get on the scale first thing in the morning to see where the numbers are. Lately, I haven’t been too impressed with those numbers, as I’ve been struggling a little to stay on the right track with food. My birthday was last week so that killed part  of that; I pulled it back together at the end of the week and then, last night? Barbecue. Ah well, I had a good day up until barbecue. And when the kiddos went for ice cream at Friendly’s for dessert, I declined. A win in my book!

But as I was saying… I weigh in every day. At least I did weigh in every day until the battery died in my scale last week. Now I can step on the scale if I want to, but it doesn’t show me anything. Instead I get to make up the numbers in my head.

At first, this was really uncomfortable. My scale and I? We have a serious committed relationship. How am I supposed to measure my progress without the scale? But then around day 3 (because I kept forgetting to get batteries), I realized that maybe not having the scale wasn’t such a bad thing. I haven’t been on my best eating behavior, but scale or no scale, that’s just the way it’s been. And sometimes when I am on my best eating behavior, the scale doesn’t show me any love, which I will admit, can cause me to sabotage my diet because I get frustrated. Intellectually I know the reasons for scale fluctuations, but I’m not always that rational.

While watching what I eat has been erratic at best, I have become consistent again with the workouts. There’s a race in six weeks hanging over my head, propelling me out the door. Plus it’s fun to be outdoors at this time of year.

I did get batteries for the scale about three days ago, but I haven’t put them in yet. I may even go another three days before I do. I’m enjoying the break from worrying about what I weigh. This journey wasn’t supposed to be about that anyway. It was about getting fit. And as long as I’m moving, I’m doing that.

This journey has also been about building a healthy relationship with food, which is much trickier than the getting fit part. I want there to be more times when I can turn down ice cream and not feel a pang of deprivation. I want to eat when I’m hungry, not when I’m having an emotional fit. I want to reach for healthier foods because I want them, not because it’s what I’m supposed to eat. I want to enjoy an occasional brownie without it triggering the desire to eat the whole pan. I know it is a long road ahead before I get to this point, if I ever do. At this point, I at least have more control over what I put in my mouth most of the time.

I wonder if the scale makes the food struggles easier or worse? I know there are definitely mental triggers I associate with the numbers that show up in the little digital LED.

When the  numbers go down quickly, I tend to think, hey, I can eat now! And then I treat myself.

When the numbers go up, I tend to think why bother with the calorie counting and the tracking. It’s not working anyway. And then I soothe myself.

Maybe not having the scale operational is a good thing. Maybe it’s not. I am going to give it a couple more days though before I put the  batteries in. And if I find, when I start weighing in again that it stresses me out again, maybe I’ll take them out. The vacation from the numbers has been kinda nice.

How do you feel about the scale?

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