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Throw a Touchdown Pass at the Grocery Store

Posted Jan 29 2013 9:16am

Throw a Touchdown Pass at the Grocery Store

January 29, 2013 by

I don’t know about you, but the second I enter a grocery store (ESPECIALLY, Whole Foods , hmm… the SAMPLES!)… I turn into what a five-year-old entering DISNEY LAND might look like!


CAKES & COOKIES! (No, I DO NOT PURCHASE THESE THINGS! I only go down this aisle to get ideas for GiGi Eats Groceries episodes, DUH!)


THE DELI SECTION! ( Salsalito Sliced Turkey is my JAM!)

Holy TOLEDO, I just never know WHERE to start!

This coming weekend grocery stores are going to be packed to the gills all thanks to… the upcoming Man-oliday! Who are you betting on to win? 


Funny Football Pose

That’s what I call a ménage à quatre

Regrettably, it’s widely known that shrimp cocktail and grilled vegetables are NOT the finger foods being passed out as we watch large, sweaty, grass-stained men tackle each other down a white-lined field.

Instead everyone tends to like to turn their fingers neon orange, dunk their dip vehicles into fatty globs of Ranch and suck down gallons of sugary, atrociously high in calorie drinks.


LOOK MA! NO HANDS (or should I say, paws?)

While everyone craves a little something different on the Thanksgiving of the Football season… It’s likely that when you enter the grocery store to stock up on goods this weekend, you will see large displays of these popular Superbowl munchies:



  • Chicken Wings: One teeny, tiny wing has 160 calories and 11 grams of artery stuffing fat. FLY AWAY!
  • Pizza: One thick slab of this gooey mess has between 150 and 300 calories coupled with anywhere between 6 and 20 grams of fat, depending on your toppings. Who can raise their hand and say they only eat ONE slice?
  • Lay’s Potato Chips: One oz of these greasy, crunchers sets you back 160 calories and 10 grams of fat. Uh you do know that the “family-sized” bag has 14 ounces in it…
  • Frito-Lay Cheetos: Not only are you permenantly dying your hands orange as you dig in… (Everyone will notice if you stick you head in the bag, by the way) but by eating just one measly little ounce, you’re scarfing down 150 calories and 10 grams of crappy (yes, that’s the scientific term) fat.
  • Soda: Whether your poison of choice be Coke, Pepsi, Mountain Dew or… WHATEVER, all of these drinks are far more LOADED with Sugar than… CANDY LAND! Downing just 12 ounces, which easily can happen within the 5 seconds it takes to pass a football, will have you ingesting roughly 150 calories.
  • Beer: What’s the Superbowl without… BEER! I mean, we’re all waiting for the Budweiser Frogs riding on Clydesdales ad, right?! Well, why can’t we leave the beer for the ads because this oh so “manly” beverage racks up 145 calories in a 12 oz can/bottle.


I am so ashamed of Harry… I mean his peer pressure MUST be why goody two-shoes & UNDERAGE Hermione is getting sloshed!


Did I just ruin your anticipated food coma day? Oh calm yourself… There are plenty of FAKE OUTS! (Oh snap! Is that a football term?)

  • Instead of Chicken Wings: Grill up some chicken tenders on sticks and dip them in Chimichurri sauce – talk about a TOUCH DOWN!
  • Instead of Pizza: Roasted eggplant or portobello rounds topped with a sprinkle of cheese, tomato sauce and chicken sausage – Eat that Dominos!
  • Instead of Cheetos and Potato Chips: Kale, zucchini, eggplant and/or butternut squash chips (Don’t roll your eyes! Don’t knock them until you’ve tried them!)
  • Instead of Soda: Carbonate some flavored water yourself with the Soda Stream! 
  • Instead of Beer: Sorry to be Debbie Downer BUT there really is no replacement for beer… KICK IT as hard as you hope the KICKER on the team you’re rooting for does when trying for a field goal!

Better yet, why don’t you just run around the grocery store like I do, to the point that you forget why you even went in the first place! You will certainly save yourself some calories… And even BURN SOME when you pretend you’re on a rollercoaster as you careen through the aisles!




PS: I was featured on FITBLOGGER yesterday! Check it out!

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