Things I've learned when visiting my dad in the hospital
Posted Dec 20 2008 7:16pm
Thanks to much praying and positivity, my Dad is finally doing tremendously better. His heart is miraculously gotten stronger and it looks like he is headed in the right direction, and tonight they transferred him out of ICU, and not to mention it is his 64th birthday today. To say the least, I feel a miracle did occur, because last Friday they (the doctors) were bracing us for a possible heart transplant, and after a few procedures he is looking like a new man.
Yesterday, I didn't have the chance to visit him in the hospital, partly because I didn't have anyone to watch the kids and the other part being I didn't have anyone to watch the store (Hubby could watch kids if someone watched store). So I have had some time to actually reflect on all that has happened over the last 2 weeks. And this is what I came up with:
I really do love my dad and the possibility of losing him was very scary, and the thought of how much that I took him for granted really sunk in.
I realized how fragile life really is, and that it really made me realize even more so, how important eating right and exercising really is. It is a must for me to be healthy at his age, for myself and for the sake of my family.
I now am understanding how addicting Twilight is, since I have been reading it while my Dad sleeps and in various waiting rooms during various tests and procedures. Edward Cullen is very hot.
I hate the smell of the hospital.
I learned that I am actually a very strong person. When I thought that I had a weak stomach or a weak heart, I actually was the stronger person around for my dad. It actually took me by surprise of how I reacted in the stress of the situation. Husband told me last night that I tend to think that I am weak at things, when in fact I was the strongest person he knew.
That I have a lot of laundry to do.
That I actually felt for these 2 weeks that " I could so be a doctor", until someone started to throw up and or have the shits, then I realized that I wasn't too sure about that.
The hospital food really does suck.
I got a major addiction to the Starbucks in the hospital, its been a hard one to break.
That my mom turned more into her psycho-self, after she realized that my dad was going to survive, but when he was severely sick, she seemed almost normal.
I realized who my real friends were, and were surprised by the ones that obviously aren't.
That that Hospital had the best ice ever (remember I am an ice chewer).
I have realized that some of my childhood friends that I grew up with are more caring about me and my family, then some of the people that I thought were my best friends now.
I learned that right when I thought the possibility of my dad leaving us, I immediately thought about me and how my life would change, and I was surprised to see that I was thinking only of me and my life, and not my mothers or anybody elses.
That the gift shops were TOTAL rip offs. And not only that, they sold their own sweatshirts and shirts, and I wonder why on earth someone would want their logo on a sweatshirt, and I am contemplating buying for my dad as a joke.
That my mom is extremely selfish when it comes to my fathers side of the family.
That my fridge was very bare.
That I put everything and everyone else aside, and didn't even realize that I did that until yesterday, when things turned around for him.
That all the different color scrubs, really does mean something, and I learned which every color meant.
That you never wanted to be on floor 4E because that would mean you are going to die and probably very soon.
That my husband cant walk into the hospital without being depressed and having severe flashbacks of the night his dad died there, and what was worse, that his dad died on the same exact floor where my dad was (Heart ICU). (My father in law died of open heart surgery 10 years ago)
That I still have most of my Christmas shopping to do.
That my kids missed me very much and were fighting for my attention.
That I am not sending out Christmas cards this year, the first time ever for me.