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The Sarcasm Between Body and Me

Posted Jan 27 2009 7:06pm
A sedentary lifestyle has its rewards. For some it is a broadened backside, a squishy, sometimes bulging belly, puffy eyes, swollen legs, achy joints, exhaustion after doing nothing, a surplus of weight, a sense of boredom for some, an ever growing lack of motivation to do anything beyond daily necessities, and if we are really fortunate, depression.

I can attest to these benefits from personal experience and witnessing the similar rewards in others. Someone created clichés we tend to ignore, like "To get what you want you need to work hard", or "you need to put forth effort to reap the right rewards", or "you need to have goals to succeed". These are thoughts I have seriously lacked. I have allowed the stress of living to become the burdening weight that pins me down and prevents me from moving.

What we focus on becomes who we are - becomes our life. I consider some fears I once had as a perfect examples. Many years ago I watched someone sit in an average dining chair with arms and noted how their bottom and thighs bulged around the arm posts and through the back of the chair. "Never let me get that big," I thought. I have also thought, "Don't let me gain any more weight" and "I don't want to buy bigger clothes." With these thoughts, my focus wasn't on what I actually wanted, but on exactly what I didn't want, and I was rewarded exactly the way I had been thinking. I am now the person I saw in the chair, I have gained more weight and, as a result, I do wear bigger clothes.

The rewards go further with things like labored breathing brought on by things strenuous; stasis dermatitis (leg swelling) to the point where my legs weep for me; an aching back surrounded by a chorus of stiff joints, bloating like a blow fish, and plain fatigue. Body has been so proud of my performance I earned a huge bonus over those rewards - a belly that puts a full-term pregnant woman to shame.

I have had such 'gentle' tendencies with Body, so I don't understand why Body has become so 'mean'. To be brutally honest, I have taken on a call center job where I sit on my fanny all day, and after a 'strenuous' day at work I return home and dress up for Body as a couch potato who willingly kills any program creating a sense of boredom with my trusty remote. I have graciously presented renovating and de-cluttering programs for hours, and our home is definitely a cluttered sanctuary. I've heard, "the state of your home is the state of your mind." Absolutely! My brain is often a foggy state of chaos.

The relationship between Body and me is definitely love/hate - I love to ignore Body and Body loves to give me the best time, much in the same manner as a child defies a parent (which I hate).

Body says, "I'm thirsty."

"I can't hear you!" I chime.

However, Body has gotten my attention by providing me with aching, water jammed calves and ankles before sarcastically asking, "How do you feel with those tree stumps under you?"

I stubbornly glare in the mirror, "I have to do what I have to do every day, regardless of your ridiculous gifts."

On occasion, when Body says full I keep going. On the flip side, when Body says hungry I say, "Not now!" That truly annoys Body, who has now perfected fat storage and graces me with added pounds every so often - until now!

Now Body, my rival, will need to learn that I am in control. I am the winner. I will pay back the negative generosity. After all, it's time I reward Body for the hard work. We need to breath together, walk together, pump blood in unison, and get rid of the trash. Not to mention, we need to throw aching joints, swollen legs and sore back right out of the house! It's time to remodel and upgrade what is broken.

I am determined that Body and I will become treasured friends. So far we have agreed on our new focus. "I will be thin," I tell Body, who agrees and has started putting out the trash. The scale has been cheering us on.
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