Remember yesterday? It was February 9th... my one-year anniversary of getting back-on-track. And a month ago... I was SO excited for February 9th to arrive! I was 331.6 pounds... and could not wait for my one-year weigh-in. I was pretty sure I would be in the 320's with a one-year weight loss of over 70 pounds.
Well... that was then... and this is now. Let's just say that I have had an absolutely HORRIBLE month... and I am nowhere near the 320's. And yes, stress and emotional eating had EVERYTHING to do with it.
I was afraid to get on the scale yesterday... REALLY afraid. I knew that I had gained a significant amount of weight because my clothing was starting to fit tighter. And I could see it in the mirror. There was no denying it. I'd dodged some bullets over the past year... but this was NOT one of those times. This was a for-real weight gain... and I was scared.
To be perfectly honest... I felt like a big, fat failure... and I seriously considered giving up for good. I didn't want to get online and post about my weight gain. And I even considered disappearing from blog land entirely.
How could I do so well for 11 months... and on the 12th month do EVERYTHING wrong??? Hadn't I learned ANYTHING in the past 11 months? How can I help and inspire anyone else when I can't even help myself?
It all came down to perseverance. That's what this blog is about. It's not about quick weight-loss. It's not about starving oneself. It's not about perfection. This blog is about not giving up. It's about not quitting. It's about getting up... no matter how many times you've fallen down. And that's why I'm here today... because maybe someone else has fallen down, too... and we both need to know that we CAN get back up and start moving forward again.
I am not proud to admit that when I stepped on the scale yesterday I weighed in at 349.8 lbs. That is an 18.2 lb. gain in one month. That is just crazy... and there is no excuse for it. I totally fell off the wagon and was using food for comfort... and this was the end result.
Instead of giving up... I have determined to go on. This is not the end of the journey for me... this is just another fresh beginning. I'm choosing to move forward... focusing on the future instead of regretting the past.
This is a new day... a fresh start... and I will never give up. I've come too far to turn back now. And instead of beating myself up over an 18.2 lb. gain... I am celebrating the 51 pounds that I did lose and have kept off this past year.
So... the journey continues... just taking it one day at a time and doing the best that I can each day... and remembering to never, ever give up.