The F word I refuse to say, and it does not rhyme with Puck!
Posted May 20 2009 1:23pm
I used to be a cashier in a sports store when I was 18 years old.
I hated the job!
I hated my boss!
I worked for this 40 something guy who always flirted with the girls. He was not very nice to me at all! He used to tell me that when he was 25 he had a Porsche, and he dated a stripper, and how he used to have so much money! He was awesome....15 years prior! One day, I was in a bad mood, and he was telling me all about the good old days! Then, he told me how I would never be like him. He said it to impress some girl that was next to me.
I looked at him, and said, in a very polite way: "I hope I am never like you."
Very, very shocked, he looked at me and said:
"Www...Tony! What did you just say to me!"
As respectful as I could be, i said:
"I am sorry. I just hope that I never live in the past like you do. I hope that I look forward to every day! I hope my best years are not behind me!"
I got sent home that day! Only time that has ever happened!
15 years later, I agree with everything I said then!
I do not want to live in the past. I want to learn from it! I think that we all should! I have made so many bad decisions in life. I have made so many selfish ones. I want to be able to make better ones. I have been!
Somebody today at work asked me one of the most asked questions I get! See if you can guess:
A: How much loose skin do you have? B: Why will you not fail this time? How are you so sure! C: If you are the Anti-Jared, does that mean you hate Jared! I mean, he seems like a nice guy! D: Do you think you will ever be on Oprah?
If you guessed B, you are right!
Why will I not fail this time? Is it will power or determination like I have written about?
The more I think about it, it could be the fact that I have failed so many times before, that I finally changed the way I live my life! When I woke up in February of 2008, I was going to start a diet like I always have!
I joined Weight Watchers, and ate less food. I tracked everything!
During that time, I realized that eventually, my portions would grow. It was not an insult to me. I just know how I am! I made the decision to completely change the way I eat! At first, I joked that I only ate apples. Truthfully, I eat a lot of food! I always will!
I decided to eat a cleaner diet. I changed my life. I changed for the future! In my wildest dreams, I never thought I would lose over 200 pounds!
I read about people like Eric from The Biggest Loser. Although I am not a fan of the show, I do see how it inspires so many people! Well, I read about how Eric, who lost over 200 pounds during the show, has gained back over 100 of the pounds. He is around 315 now.
That could have been me! It still could!
In 2006, I was in line at a Biggest Loser audition in Florida. I looked at people in the line, and realized that no one was as big as I was. There was no doubt in my mind that I would be picked to be on the show. I thought about my credentials:
1. I was over 400 pounds 2. I was outgoing 3. I was a chef
I had it in the bag. No question! Then my phone rang. It was my wife asking me where I was. I told her I was in line for the auditions, and she just said, in a very soft voice: "I do not think that is for you." I remember hanging up the phone, and going home. I thank my wife every day for that phone call!
Why am I so confident I will not gain it back. Because i am different. my diet is different, everything about me is different. My wife and puppy are the only things that stayed the same in my life!
So why am I rambling for so long today! Well, I refuse to fail. I have too many people in my life that do not want me to FAIL!
Sometimes I think about my weight loss journey. I would not change anything about it!