This is such a tough topic for me to discuss. I want to spread the “love thyself” message. I want to be a women who looks in a mirror, flaws and all, and says “I love you, just the way you are”. I've always wanted to be that person but truthfully, I'm not and never was. I envy people who have that quality at any size, they are a truly inspirations.
It wasn't until I accepted myself that weight loss was possible. When I accepted my flaws, faced my emotions and believed in ME, I was able to really step up to the challenge and long term commitment that weight loss took.
Once I reached my goal, I faced the new challenge so many people who lose weight do. I had/have access skin and body issues that I would not have if I never carried the extra 70lbs. Excess weigh puts stress on our bodies in more ways then one and (especially as we age) it doesn't just snap back to pre-weight shape. I think most of us know this.
So once I reached my goal weight I decided to have a Tummy Tuck . It was actually an easy decision for me. I've always had an issue with my midsection and the amount of skin that was left was excessive. There was nothing I could do to minimize it on my own and I looked at the procedure as the last stop on transforming into the new me. It was a way to say goodbye to the chubby girl inside and welcome the confident slim women I always knew I could be.
It worked, it really did. I do not regret for one single minute that I made that decision. Even with the pain, long recovery time and year of payments it was worth it.
Would I be miserable with out it? Probably not. I'd probably wear baggier clothes and baby dolls tops a bit more and be a little less confident but I would have survived. I'm sure of that, but I had the means, and the guts, so I did it.
Now I'm making another decision. This decision took me almost a year to make and it has me reconsidering my self-love and self-acceptance. In that year I've accomplished more physically then I ever considered possible. I'm a weight training fanatic now and I have less then 12 hours until my first ever 5K. My body is in better shape then I could have ever imagined.
At my last post-op appointment for the tummy tuck I mentioned a few areas to the doctor that still bothered me. A little extra skin here a little stubborn fat there. He recommended a procedure and I've pondered it since last August.
On one side, I have the confident, “your just fine the way you are” girl saying, “it's not worth it”. You've come so far and you look great. Be happy with who you are and just keep doing what your doing. You are fabulous!
On the other side, I have the confident (yes both these women are confident), “you've come so far but you could look better” girl saying, “why not, you deserve this”. You really have come so far, and you do look great but there are some things out of your control and if you have the means to fix them then why not. You only live once after all!
My decision is one that not all will agree with but in the end it's mine to make. I've decided to proceed with the surgery and I will be getting extra skin and fat removed from my sides and thighs in a few weeks.
The funny thing, I feel better getting all that off my chest! It really was a hard decision for me and I didn't let too many people in before making it. Surgery is scheduled for June 17 and in a weird way I'm looking forward to it. As with everything, it's another stage on my journey and one I will learn and grow from.