Okay, here are some random thoughts on weight loss and my journey that are in my head this week...
It was the first week back to school after the Winter/Christmas break, and boy did the compliments ever come out this week. We even have a teacher who I barely know who has only been with us since November (she is covering a maternity leave) and she came up to me and made a comment. She said something like basically, she didn't want to offend me but she was really struck by how my face has changed over the break. I thought it took a lot of guts for her to say something since she really doesn't know me. I then thanked her and told her a bit of my story since she doesn't know I've lost A LOT of weight. That was so cool! Then I had other staff and parents amazed at me too. One teacher even pulled me aside and said how much of a new person I was from my shoulders, back, profile, face etc. Hubby says this kind of stuff all the time so it was really neat to hear someone else say it too.
Do I see it? I don't know - perception is a weird thing. Sometimes I think I do, and other times I don't. Lately whenever I have to write down my weight (in my journal or in say a letter or email to a friend of how far I've come), I keep writing it with a "2" in front. I can't seem to get rid of the thought that I'm 181 lbs and NOT 281. It's really strange sometimes to imagine. I can remember crying that I couldn't get under 200 and now I've far surpassed that.
I have a weird thing about my shoulders now. My shoulders now have really, really shrunk. Quite dramatically! It means I can even try on a Large size shirt (it doesn't look good because of the belly/rolls yet) - but my shoulders are no longer big and the shirt can go on. My shoulders now make me feel vunerable. They get "cold" quickly, and sore and I have this mindset that I could almost hurt them or something. I guess I feel naked without all the fat there! LOL!
During the holidays I had a physical with my doctor. She was absolutely thrilled with my progress and just about "squealed" when she saw how much I weighed. Although our relationship really started on a sour note with her not signing my OCC forms, I feel all of a sudden like we have a personable relationship. She seems now to know who I am instead of mixing me up with other patients (she's young and overworked).
When I was overweight, I noticed a lump on the inside of my thigh just above my right knee. I kind of ignored it but as I lost weight it of course, seemed bigger and bigger. I had her check it out. She said it was either a popped vein from my legs carrying out the weight or a fatty tissue deposit. She was pretty sure it was a popped vein as they are not uncommon with people who are overweight. I said I was pretty sure that it was a popped vein then because when I take a bath and it gets warm my veins in that area all get darker including that lump.
I have to call my doctor this week and get my bloodwork results. She accidently gave me a copy of September's bloodwork again instead of Decembers. Gahhhhh!!
I'm now wearing size 15/16 pants - they are a little snug in the waist but they can fit. I'm in a XXL or XL shirt depending on the maker and how roomy they are. Not bad considering that I started off in size 26/28 and 4X-5X.
New Pictures: (weight 182) in my XL Avon Yoga Outfit.
Dawn
Okay, here are some random thoughts on weight loss and my journey that are in my head this week...
It was the first week back to school after the Winter/Christmas break, and boy did the compliments ever come out this week. We even have a teacher who I barely know who has only been with us since November (she is covering a maternity leave) and she came up to me and made a comment. She said something like basically, she didn't want to offend me but she was really struck by how my face has changed over the break. I thought it took a lot of guts for her to say something since she really doesn't know me. I then thanked her and told her a bit of my story since she doesn't know I've lost A LOT of weight. That was so cool! Then I had other staff and parents amazed at me too. One teacher even pulled me aside and said how much of a new person I was from my shoulders, back, profile, face etc. Hubby says this kind of stuff all the time so it was really neat to hear someone else say it too.
Do I see it? I don't know - perception is a weird thing. Sometimes I think I do, and other times I don't. Lately whenever I have to write down my weight (in my journal or in say a letter or email to a friend of how far I've come), I keep writing it with a "2" in front. I can't seem to get rid of the thought that I'm 181 lbs and NOT 281. It's really strange sometimes to imagine. I can remember crying that I couldn't get under 200 and now I've far surpassed that.
I have a weird thing about my shoulders now. My shoulders now have really, really shrunk. Quite dramatically! It means I can even try on a Large size shirt (it doesn't look good because of the belly/rolls yet) - but my shoulders are no longer big and the shirt can go on. My shoulders now make me feel vunerable. They get "cold" quickly, and sore and I have this mindset that I could almost hurt them or something. I guess I feel naked without all the fat there! LOL!
During the holidays I had a physical with my doctor. She was absolutely thrilled with my progress and just about "squealed" when she saw how much I weighed. Although our relationship really started on a sour note with her not signing my OCC forms, I feel all of a sudden like we have a personable relationship. She seems now to know who I am instead of mixing me up with other patients (she's young and overworked).
When I was overweight, I noticed a lump on the inside of my thigh just above my right knee. I kind of ignored it but as I lost weight it of course, seemed bigger and bigger. I had her check it out. She said it was either a popped vein from my legs carrying out the weight or a fatty tissue deposit. She was pretty sure it was a popped vein as they are not uncommon with people who are overweight. I said I was pretty sure that it was a popped vein then because when I take a bath and it gets warm my veins in that area all get darker including that lump.
I have to call my doctor this week and get my bloodwork results. She accidently gave me a copy of September's bloodwork again instead of Decembers. Gahhhhh!!
I'm now wearing size 15/16 pants - they are a little snug in the waist but they can fit. I'm in a XXL or XL shirt depending on the maker and how roomy they are. Not bad considering that I started off in size 26/28 and 4X-5X.
New Pictures: (weight 182) in my XL Avon Yoga Outfit.
Dawn