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Struggle after Struggle

Posted Oct 04 2011 12:00am

I woke up feeling much better than yesterday! We ended up going to bed at 8:30 like a couple of old people. Winking smile I guess we really were tired! But I felt 1,000 times better this morning after a good night’s sleep.

For breakfast, I had oatmeal with a mashed banana and about 3/4 cup of milk for 6 points.

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My morning went as usual on Tuesday/Thursdays, I did my housework and then sat down to work on homework. I sipped on coffee with creamer while doing my homework for 1 point.

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For my morning “lunch” I ate a tuna (with light miracle whip) sandwich with lettuce for 5 points.

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I also had a light strawberry banana yogurt with strawberries for 2 points.

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And then it was off to school. Before my second class, I ate a Chewy Fiber Bar for 4 points. I accidently grabbed the wrong box at Aldis—I thought I had picked the 2 point bars. I don’t like spending that many points on a snack type food. Sad smile

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On my way home, I ate an apple for 0 points.

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A light cheese stick for 1 point.

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And carrots for 0 points.

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I’m always so hungry when I get done with class. But I went home and made myself deal with the hunger and just wait for hubby to get home. There may have been a couple Bites, Licks, and Tastes. I really need to get that under control too.

For supper, I had leftover Peach-Bourbon Shrimp and bacon wrapped scallops from Red Lobster, Alexia sweet potato fries and a side salad for 13 points.

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A very tasty supper! I finished it up with banana soft serve for 0 points.

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Counting the foods I ate, I am within my points for the day. But with the couple of bites here and there, I’m sure I’m over. I just can’t seem to get control of myself like I used to. I think that being honest with myself will help though. So here I am—! Do you ever find yourself not counting those bites, licks and tastes? It might be ok to eat one little wheat thin, but when you go back and do that a few times it can really add up! I’m looking forward to getting my weigh in tomorrow over with and a new start to my week. It will be good for me to start fresh. Give it 100% and see how my week goes.

But it definitely helped that I got a good workout in tonight. Hubby and I went out for a walk/run. We ran 1 mile straight in 12 minutes and walked 1.3 miles for a total of 2.3 miles in 40 minutes. I burned 324 calories. Nice way to get back into running with a short run!

One thing I noticed while running is that I am able to give it more throughout the entire run, but when it comes to the end I feel like I want to give up. It was the same way with the bike ride the other day and this is SO FRUSTRATING to me because I am always one to really push it at the end. I am usually MORE determined at the finish line. Now I see the finish line and I want to quit. WHAT?!?! It’s all about the inner dialogue and I think this is a sign that I am seriously lacking some self belief and determination. I think it’s safe to say that exercising more will help me with that. And I aim to do just that!

I am sorry that all I have to post about lately is struggle after struggle!! This seriously has been the hardest part of my journey lately and I hope you will stick with me as I push through and figure things out.

My weight has been up the past 2 days. I’m hoping for a big drop tomorrow morning but I’m just going to have to take my weight and move on. One of these days I will get over this hurdle and look back and it will be nothing but a blip on the radar!

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