The past week or so has been a bit of a revelation for me, a learning experience if you will. Two weeks ago I was on top of the world. I was feeling awesome. I was killing every single workout. I felt like there was no stopping me. Then I got a head cold. Then I stopped eating. And the wheels fell off the bus big time. Friday I didn't know how I was going to get moving again. Then yesterday happened.
Although I kind of didn't feel like it, I forced myself to head out to Crossfit yesterday morning. I hadn't gone in 3 days and needed to get back in the groove. I walked in and saw the Filthy Fifty on the board. Oh Crap!!!! The Filthy Fifty is:
50 box jumps
50 pull ups
50 kettlebell swings
50 walking lunges
50 knees to elbows
50 push presses
50 good mornings
50 wall balls
100 jump rope (this should be 50 double unders but I can't do 50 yet)
I saw that and thought, great, I've just taken 3 days off because I wasn't feeling well and I come back to this. CRAP!!! Oh, there is also a 30 minute time cap. But as I stood there something inside got excited. I can do this!!! I want to do this!!!! I am going to kill this workout!!!! I was actually looking forward to it.
Standing at the starting line looking at the distance you have to cover is always the scariest part. As I stood looking at the board I thought about the 500 total reps that have to be done in 30 minutes. I thought about the moves that I'm not good at. I thought how hard this was going to be. Then I started thinking about the moves I'm good at. I can rock 100 jump ropes in a minute, easy. I can swing a kettlebell like no one's business. Push presses?? Piece of cake. Box jumps? Psssh...I got that. As I stood there I not only focused on the things I was good at, also developed a strategy for the things I wasn't good at. Break each move down into smaller chunks. Don't think about the 50, think about the smaller chunks.
Once we got started, I went at it with a kind of laser determination. I took each move and focused on it. I broke each 50 down to 10 at a time. Got through 10, took a short break, and on to the next 10. Never once did not finishing cross my mind. Never once did I consider reducing the number of reps - though that was an option. I did 50 of each and I just kept going. As I neared the end I had burpees and jump rope left. I knew I could knock out the jump rope in a minute or so, so I did that first. I was left with burpees. I started cranking them out, in this case I focused on 5 at a time. I was tired and burpees are hard. 5. Then 5 more. Then 5 more. Then 5 more. Then 5 more. Time was running out. I started my next 5, only to get 1 done and hear TIME!!! Crap. I didn't finish the Filthy Fifty. I was 24 burpees short. I was upset.
I was a little bit bummed out as I jumped on my bike and headed home. As I rode, I thought about Crossfit. I started Crossfit almost exactly 5 months ago. I don't remember the details of that first workout, but I do remember it was 7 minutes and included wall balls. I also remember that I thought I was going to die. It was hard. Really, really, hard. But I was hooked. Over the course of that 5 months I have lost about 15 pounds, gained tons of strength, and more importantly found myself again.
I have come so far in the past 5 months, I can't even begin to catalog all the ways I've changed. I thought about that all the way home. I thought about the things I do now that I could never have done 5 months ago - like an ass almost on the ground squat. I thought of all the things that have changed; my weight, my appearance, my pants size, my self confidence, my attitude. I thought of that first 7 minute workout and the 30 minute one today. And I smiled. A. Lot. I am awesome proud of myself and I almost did the Filthy Fifty!! I almost completed it. Next time I will complete it. Next time I will completely kill it, because next time I'll be even better than I am now.