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Some Support for "the Girls"

Posted Jan 24 2013 3:59pm


Image001 Oh hi there, potentially male readers of this blog.

This entry is totally gonna be about BOOBS. "The girls" are not meant to describe my besties or the kids I volunteer with. Just BOOBS. But not really in a sexy way. I just thought I'd give you a heads up. 

I am also suddenly and acutely aware of all the teens in my youth group who might read this.

Oh well - I wear a bra. If I didn't, I don't think I'd have much of a social life as I am quite well endowed up top. It would be rather unsightly. I don't think it's a matter of national security. 

Speaking of unsightly, can I just ask -- Is anyone with a bigger bust rocking a bra without an underwire? If so, how is this accomplished? It's not that I'm a huge fan of wearing the wire, it's just that I am morally and ethically against chronic back pain and and my boobs sagging down to my navel.

Go on. Picture that. I'll wait.

And onto more pressing matters... 

"Hey AJ," you wonder aloud, "where, pray tell, do you purchase your bras?"

Well, curious reader, I frequent a few websites that I keep bookmarked in my browser should the need for new underthings arise. Here in no particular order:

The names of these sites KILL ME. "Fresh Pair" kind of grosses me out. Why wouldn't they be fresh, I wonder? Also, I'd like to point out that Lane Bryant's current campaign touts WHO NEEDS CUPID WHEN YOU HAVE CACIQUE.

Let's pretend that ISN'T implying fat girls can't get laid and that fun lingerie should bring them comfort. OR that it might imply sexy lingerie WILL get you laid, but will NOT get you love. It's pretty cute and their latest line is pretty and girly. It's nice when you're busty and you don't have to wear something akin to a chastity belt. 

I also wanted to make a recommendation to you. Get measured. Does anyone remember that episode of Oprah where she famously told the nation that most women are wearing the wrong bra size? She's not lying. Getting measured is great. Once you get over the strange old lady with a tape measure feeling you up, it's a life changer. 

And lastly on this matter, I'd only continue to beg the designers of the world to MAKE SEXY BRAS. Just because I'm overweight and have a big chest, does not mean I want to hide myself away. In fact, I want to show them off, dammit. If you got 'em, flaunt 'em, right?  

When You Got it, Flaunt it (The Producers)  

 

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