A few months ago I saw a friend I haven’t seen since before I lost weight (and then gained some back). As far as she was concerned, I had lost a lot of weight since the last time she’d seen me. Then we hooked up on Facebook and the other day she IMed me and asked, “so…how’d you do it?” She went on to tell me that she’s been on various diets since she was 12 years old and has been “fat” basically her entire life.
I sat there for a second and several thoughts ran through my mind. I remembered how I used to reply to that question, before I gained some of the weight back. I’d reply, with a cocky tone: “eating right and exercising.” Of course, I was also quick to acknowledge that Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) played a significant role in getting me to the point of wanting to eat right and exercise.
I IMed her back and said that I couldn’t begin to answer the question in an IM and could we meet face-to-face?
A part of me (granted, a small part) felt like a fraud. Who am I to give weight loss advice? I’ve regained 20 of the 55 pounds I lost! Another part of me knows that I have a lot of valuable knowledge and experience and so I went to see her, armed with some books I love and information on EFT and the Living Lighter class.
But mostly I just wanted to tell her that my health and happiness is dependent on my own ability to love and accept myself and that doing so requires the same kind of “lifestyle change” that “eating right and exercising” requires.
I know that she knows what healthy eating is, and I know that she knows that exercise is important. For her it came down to being motivated. Ah yes…motivation. I told her that right now I am motivated to maintain my weight, not lose any more and that I have come to accept that. It actually feels good. So, here I am, not obsessing about my weight any more. The cool thing is that “not obsessing” doesn’t mean “overeating and avoiding exercise.” It just means “not obsessing.”
On a related note, I have found that, once I gave myself permission to eat what I want, I don’t eat what I once thought I wanted. I don’t know where this will lead, but I am not in a big rush to find out.