I’ve been thinking about a lot of stuff lately. Nothing really new – but some things I have to address.
My psychiatrist (the guy who gives me the meds J) asked me a very interesting question.
“So…. What is your goal after your surgery?”Huh?Wow. I hadn’t thought about it. I’ve been very focused on getting to surgery. But what about after?I’m really glad he posed the question. We all remember how I totally fell apart after my mud run in the fall. It was the beginning of months of struggle in many ways. I think this can happen to the best of ‘em. You prep and focus on a specific event. Then once it’s over – well, you feel empty. You feel a sense of loss. Loss of purpose. Loss of focus.
So, now I am really thinking on it. Why am I concerned about it? Well, because I am prone to bouts of depression. And this type of sudden lack of focus and lack of specific goals is the biggest culprit of a flare up.What is my goal after surgery? For my entire life that I can recall – my life has been focused on weight loss goals. Yes, I will still need to lose some weight after the surgery, but it will be a lot more strength gaining and losing weight will be a little less “urgent”. Maintaining a healthy focus while not actively needing to lose a large amount of weight is something I have never encountered. Maybe, for the first time, the number on the scale will not be what I base myself of… what then?
Specific fitness goals seem to make sense here. Strength gaining goals. I have lots of these I can think of – the only issue with this being my focus, is that I will be unable to do any intense training for probably 6 weeks after the surgery. Keeping my diet very clean will be a priority, of course… I have already signed up for another mud run in the fall… so, there is training for that….
I’m really just hashing this all out in my head right now. I just don’t want to feel that struggle. I don’t want to feel that loss. I want to avoid it at all possible cost. Anyone reading this been in a similar situation? Thoughts?