I went for a run on Sunday. The first one since the Wine Run which was two weeks ago. Just a slow "see how I'm feeling" run with the pootch. It's amazing how easily you can put running (or any exercise) on the back burner in favour of running errands and all the other goings ons of life. While my training plan leading me up to my first 10k definitely had me running more frequently than I ever have before, I loved the experience. I loved the discipline that it required and I loved succeeding at following it through. I did the best I could in my own circumstances and it did amazing things for me.
I also meant to blog that I've returned back to "onederland" with my weight loss! Yayyyy!!!! In fact, I'm within 10 lbs of my pre-pregnancy weight and 25lbs back to my goal of 170lbs. Overall I feel back to "me" again! I can honestly say that should there ever be any future babies, I will no doubt, without question be keeping close tabs on my calorie intake and counting my way through. I can also say, however, that this journey getting "back" to my goal weight is bringing with it something I don't think I had before. I don't know if it's a natural new perspective with being a mother, the new distraction and natural re-prioritizing of being a Mom, or maybe it's because my husband and I are on the same page getting ourselves in a healthy place, but I feel so much more at peace with listening to my body now. My appetite is completely in control and I listen to my body. I indulge and of course have my moments where food choices could be better, but expecting perfection from yourself is setting yourself up for failure. I'm ok with not being on par with my calorie deficit as long as I'm under my maintenance and so far it's working. It's of course a slower weight loss process which can be painstaking when you don't see "significant" losses regularly, but since my mind is focused on being a Mom, I hardly even notice the time passing. In fact, it's when you have a baby growing and developing before your very eyes that you realize how quickly time passes. I'm very close to hitting 50 lbs lost and this is why.
I let go of any guilt that goes along with going "off the wagon" because that's only a slippery slope. Guilt does nothing but perpetuate rebellion against staying on track. I feel like I've been through enough to honour myself and give myself grace when needed. I'm not perfect and trying to be is a losing battle. The truth is that you can be successful losing weight if you are reasonable, realistic and allow yourself the grace you deserve. Not confusing that with excuses is the tricky part ;-)
It is no secret that my journey to health has taken me to a place that has me yearning to achieve more with my running shoes. My biggest goal I wish to achieve is running a half marathon. I had been brave enough to agree to register to run the Bluenose Half Marathon right before I found out we were expecting our little guy and who knows if I would have been able to keep up with the training, but I was brave enough to want to go for it "out loud." I still do want to go for it, but that's another story for another day...
I'm not sure what 2012 will bring in the running department, but I'm excited to be doing the Santa Shuffle in a few weeks ( remember when I did it the year before last and didn't even know I was pregnant then? ) and I'm also signed up to do the Resolution Run on New Years Eve. All I know is that I want to be either signed up for an event or in training for one in 2012! I love how it feels being a part of the running community and getting out there and being active. I've proven to myself that I can handle the 10k distance if I listen to my body and have tons of room for improvement, so I want to at least keep my running fitness "in 10k shape" through 2012. I've already gotten my sights set on quite a few events, but of course will always have to be mindful of my physical limitations and play it by ear as I go along.
Truth be told, I can't quite put into words how it feels to have injuries that sometimes hold you back from being able to do what you know your mind wants to do. And I will just leave it at that for now because that's another story for yet another day too. I promise that some day when the time is right, I will shed more light on that area a bit more because I have LOADS I want to say on various topics related to it, but for now, it's best I leave it out of the blog for the most part [insert legal disclaimer here].
I do not write about this often for various reasons, but one of them is that this blog is a positive place for me - a place I created to harness all of the positive things I have proven I can do for myself.