This post was written with tears streaming down my face so lets just get that out of the way now.
FitBloggin’12 was nothing short of amazing. I don’t even know where to begin. The last 5 days are a complete blur.
You know what?
I can’t even recap. I just can’t. My brain is mush. I’m an emotional mess. I’m humbled and honored, overwhelmed and and even anxious, in a weird way.
For 3 days I was on the verge of tears. I want to tell you why but it’s so hard to put into words. I held myself together, allowing only my eyes to well, while watching reunions, first time in-person hugs, people going out of their comfort zones, trying new things, experiencing new things, and being truly themselves all in a supportive, welcoming, accepting environment.
And I did hold it together, for the most part. Thankfully I was distracted by all the logistics of actually running the conference! I was too busy to take it all in, until this morning.
That’s when I saw Robby holding this sign after the 5k…
(She was holding it for the Reebok photo booth but I can’t find the actual photo) :(
I lost it.
Hard to breathe.
Everything hit me in that moment.
I feel like it’s something I’m teaching and learning all at the same time.
I picked up the sign, found her and all the emotions of the last 3 days just. came. out.
I couldn’t hold it back any longer.
So many people have been thanking me for organizing the conference but they have it wrong.
I need to thank them.
I can’t do what I’m doing without their support or yours! I feel honored and grateful that I am able blog and bring such a community of supportive people together.
I have to admit.
I don’t feel worthy.
I’m not sure where the self-doubt and insecurity comes from. Thankfully, it’s not crippling. I no longer need to feed it by binging on obscene amounts of food just so I feel a sense of fullness instead of the self-induced loneliness.
Instead, I ignore the negative inner voice and move forward despite it. I have taken baby steps that have not only helped me to reach my own weight loss goals but have literally changed my body, my health, my relationships, my career, and my life.
It’s so overwhelming to even think about right now.
So I’m not. :)
Instead I’ll share this photo…
The Husband had an Edible Arrangement sent to the house this afternoon. The card…
How nice was that?!
I spent my Sensational Sunday playing with my kids, napping and being fed strawberries by this Little Guy…
I also added some new inspiration to my office wall…
Note: I’m note sure who wrote the "If I don’t start, I can’t finish!" banner but when I saw it I had to grab it. It captures how I felt at that very moment about the conference and, well, all my accomplishments.
I promise to share more about the conference without getting so deep or emotional. In the mean time you may want to check out these links….
I need to end this post with my expression of gratitude. As I said, so many thanked me and I need to thank so many. So here goes my Emmy’s style thank you.. :)
Thank you Mom for always being my hero. I wouldn’t be here (literally and figuratively) if it wasn’t for you.
Thank you Jen for always being there for me. You support me in so many ways that I can’t even explain.
Thank you Erin for the amazing work. This year would not have happened without you.
Thank you Carrie for being so much more than a photographer and allowing me to take over your house for 2 months.
Thank you Jimmy for allowing me not to worry about the 5k or the Swag.
Thank you Carla for thinking of me when I was too busy to think of you. I’m sorry.
Thank you April, Bill and Miko for just being SO AWESOME.
Thank you Sammy for all the help you didn’t think you gave.
Thank you Carmen for stepping up and being there for me. Oh! and dealing with my teams craziness.
Thank you Bob and Terri for watching the boys during the madness.
Thank you Bill for, well, everything. You always support me and I’m so thankful I have you to experience this world with. Oh! and your welcome for the 2 days off work, quiet hotel room and long mornings. ;)
OMG I could do this all day! There are just so many people who have supported me and this conference. Thank you everyone who came, spoke, volunteered, and supported the conference this year (including the sponsors !) There are literally too many of you to list! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!