Since this is my own blog and created solely for the purpose of writing about whatever is going on with me and documenting what's on my mind, I'm going to write about it here. This is MY space so I blog about what is going on with me - good, bad, ugly, funny, upsetting - you name it. I'm having a hard time going to bed because my brain won't shut down. A close friend of mine once told me to "use my voice" and it was fantastic advice. Since she told me that, I've used my voice a lot and it feels great! So, I'm using my voice here, on my own personal turf, so here goes my voice just venting.....
Sometimes, things just suck and aren't fair. I feel as though I give and give and give and give, yet it isn't recognized, appreciated or valued. Not to boast or brag, but I bring a lot to the table of whatever I do. Many unique qualifications, experience, education and personal attributes that are ignored and undervalued. Why is it that some of the most loyal, dedicated people are overlooked and undervalued? Yet, you are still expected to be a bubbling brook of endless enthusiasm when you are treated poorly, excluded from things you should be a part of and rewarded embarassingly to the point that you don't want to think about it much less talk about it. Aren't things supposed to be (at a minimum) somewhat mutual? The expectation of 100%+ yet the treatment is way, way less is very one-sided. Isn't loyalty a two-way street? I am feeling very frustrated and just sick of the same old stuff.
On the flip side, I'm staying on track which is awesome. Despite feeling some pretty intense negative emotions and experiencing some difficulties, I've stayed on track. Woo Hoo Me! I feel awesome about that. Believe me, I'm going through a challenging time that in the past would have caused me to dive headfirst into my sugary, carb-laden trigger foods. Nope, not now. You will find none, zero, nada zippo Krispy Kreme boxes in my trash! WOO HOO! And the great thing is that I feel very solidly on track. I feel very "screwed" in a certain situation in my life yet the more screwed I feel, the stronger I feel with the commitment to myself of staying on track. I am so deeply grateful for that.
I think I'm going to go for it for Thanksgiving. No, not eating but cooking. Yep, you read that right, cooking! We've always either gone out to a nice restaurant or brought something in that we got from a restaurant or catering place. This year, I'm doing it. I'm going to cook. So, I'm on the lookout for for delicious healthy recipes. Remember, I also have to consider my picky pre-teen son when I am on the hunt for recipes. The last time that I decided to cook Thanksgiving, I didn't pull the turkey out enough in advance to thaw. We had to put the turkey in a water bath, set the alarm every 90 minutes to change the water. Not a great Thanksgiving memory (but funny now that I'm writing it).
Another memory was when I was making rice. It cooked too long and wasn't any good. So, I poured it out in the sink, ran the garbage disposal and made some more. Problem was that I put so much rice in the sink that it expanded. Do you know how hard it is to find a plumber on Thanksgiving Day?
That's pretty much what is on my mind tonight as my daily minutes.