Of Repressed Anger, Mandalas, And Urinary Tract Infections
Posted Jul 26 2011 11:35am
I figured something out yesterday. As part of the Feeling Your Feelings course I am taking, I colored a mandala . I finished it in three separate sessions. I used 27 different colors and noticed that I was very deliberate in the patterns I wanted to establish, but my color choice was rather haphazard.
I also noticed that I was most definitely meditating on a particular issue in my life, which has to do, at the core level, with some pretty intense anger towards someone in my life (no, not my mother). The short answer is that I am seriously pissed that this person has been able to get everyone to walk on eggshells and, as a result, I feel that I have to be invisible. And I also feel powerless. And I comply because I feel that I need to take the high road in order to protect someone else.
This is an old, festering issue, and like many old, festering issues, the current anger is really just the tip of the iceberg…it’s compounded by the all the times I’ve repressed anger and felt powerless in my life.
Along with that, I’ve been feeling rather weak and tired. I came down with a urinary tract infection on Friday and so I called my naturopath and got an appointment for Monday (yesterday) afternoon.
On a side note, I had a UTI back in May…the first one in YEARS. I saw my naturopath but then decided to see a regular doc and get antibiotics. My naturopath believes that in most cases, antibiotics drive infections deeper into the body so I am not surprised I have another one. And not just because of the antibiotics.
During my appointment, I told her everything that’s been going on with me physically and emotionally (including the above). She very much gets the whole body-mind connection and treats her patients accordingly. Based on what I told her, she thinks I also had a bit of kidney “gravel,” which is sort of like a stone that is already broken up…although I didn’t have any pain that I’d associate with that.
I trust that I will not need antibiotics…that my body-mind will take care of me if I take care of it. And so I am taking my cranberry pills , d-mannose , Smart Silver , and a homeopathic remedy.*
In the meantime, I looked up kidney and urinary tract issues in Louise Hay’s “You Can Heal Your Life” and both are basically about being pissed off and/or undissolved anger. Go figure. So I am working on releasing and dissolving this anger.
I am already feeling better.
In other health news, I am happy to announce that my cholesterol and other numbers continue to get better and better (with no prescription meds)!! The overall number went up slightly, but my “good” cholesterol went way up, and my bad cholesterol and triglycerides went down.
*I share this for informational purposes only. This is not medical advice. If you have a urinary tract infection, please see your doctor!