I watched a bit of Supersize versus Superskinny that was on TV last night. The main thing that struck me was how much the overweight man lacked self-confidence. He weighed about 28 stone and seemed to be a really nice man. However, he said he hadn't had a girlfriend and this contributed to a general lack of confidence in himself.
The programme caused me to reflect a little on how my own self-confidence has suffered over the years due to my obesity. I've found that it has gradually declined more and more to the point where last year I basically went out of my way to avoid interacting with people at all. For many years I have worn baggy clothes to 'hide' my figure. I also avoid social events, generally, and keep myself to myself - outside of work hours.
Having said that, I expect most people who know me would be surprised to hear me express feelings of low self-esteem and lack of self confidence. At work, among acquaintances and when meeting new people (and even family), I think I give off an air of confidence. This is an outward expression only - inside I am usually itching to get away from people and hide. As part of my job I sometimes have to go to conferences to give presentations and 'network'. I absolutely hate doing this - hate it with a vengeance! I find it particularly difficult when I'm put in a position of feeling exposed (e.g. if several people are looking at me or listening).
Anyway, I'd like to finish this post on a positive note. I have definitely noticed something of a spring in my step in the past few weeks. I feel quite positive about myself and this feeling is notably enhanced when I find another item of clothing in my wardrobe that now fits me! I think the main differences are because (i) being able to wear slightly more 'normal' clothes gives me a boot, and (ii) I am physically much fitter than I was - I can now walk up the eight flights of stairs to my office without gasping for air and I'm walking about much faster than before.
So, here's to increasing confidence. I hope you all share in similar successes. The link above goes to a YouTube video of a lady speaking about how her own self-esteem has increased since undergoing weight loss surgery.