This blog will serve as a witness to my continued journey towards overall wellness. Food, proper nutrition, exercise, calories and emotional eating are just a few of the things that I’ll be sharing.
June 9, 2010 was the 2nd Anniversary of my gastric bypass. For the better part of those two years my weight has steadily declined, plateaued, gone up, declined and then held steady. But for the last 12 months I have also battled constant pain – first the strep throat that couldn’t be killed until my tonsils were removed (about 6 weeks in bed); a lump on the right side of my neck that the docs attribute to my tonsils (wrong); fatigue and depression (meds and therapy); ruptured disc degeneration resulting in an Anterior Cervical Discectomy with Fusion (6 more weeks in bed); unresolved pain (read “surgical failure” here); a spinal tap, spinal headache (thought I was going to die) and blood patch – still it continues. My doctor says I’m a medical mystery. hmmmmm.
Beyond physical pain, I have suffered the emotional pain of losing my beloved uncle to lung cancer, witnessing my mother’s emotional decline into a place where no one can follow and most recently the extremely painful loss of my beloved dog, Sam. Sam’s death was unexpected and quick. Two days before his second birthday he suddenly became lethargic, we called the vet and as my husband gathered Sam in his arms – he took his last breathe and died. I know lots of people don’t understand the loss of a pet, especially when it is followed by extreme grief – but I have been devastated by the loss of Sam.
During all of this pain my abusive relationship with food and myself slowly found it’s way back into my life. And that is why I am writing – my “Raison d’etra” is Walking the path so others don’t have to and that is accomplished by writing and talking about my journey. By the way, if you don’t know “raison d’etra” is French for “reason for being” – in English it has been given the extended meaning of “intense and emotional single-minded purpose for existence” – (even my reason for being has been Super Sized).
Now it’s time to begin – I hope you will join me every day, or at least once in a while. Ask questions, share your stories, find comfort in knowing that you are not alone!