Hello. Just thought I would come on and write a little. Hope that everyone had a wonderful christmas and that you all enjoyed the time with family and friends.
I myself had a nice christmas in general. A little bit overindulging on my part..(ok ALOT) but hey its christmas.:-) then again..i suppose i can say its been christmas for me for the past month, because since i have been finished the transformation project, I have been a really really bad girl.
I find its been really tough on me to get back into the strictness of it all. I mean I can go up to 4 days really well..and then kill it by screwing up on the fifth day! darn...so its been tough.
I have managed to gain like 25 lbs friends! Can you believe that? I am not really feeling totally/completely bad about it however, because really my weight at my lowest when finished this project was just TOO LOW!! My face wasnt looking healthy, my body fat % was really low. I had no chest left:) I went from a size D to a size whatever..probably closer to an A. Bones stickin out of every which way..so to me..reaching the end..was almost a blessing. At first it was all about numbers,and a goal I set out to try to achieve...but now its about healthy living, and a number that I can be comfortable with maintaining. Obviously the number in the past that I got down to, was not at all managable. I could not stay at that weight, and nor would I have wanted to.
I mean if you look at my picture when i met hedley group for example and really look at my face...that wasnt really healthy looking to me. But when i look at a picture where it was perhaps 2 months before that...when I went out with some friends..now that was a healthy look. So just keep in mind when losing weight, what might look great on one person concerning numbers, may not always be the case for the next person.
So I am trying to lose 15-25lbs(that i gained while taking a really long break). And again I am giving myself a range to aim for this time because I will know when to stop once I feel I look my best rather than guessing again and giving myself a certain number..
As of today, I am really serious about getting the little extra weight off before it gets out of control. Last few nights I have been having alot of acid reflux crap going on when in bed..had to get up 2 times when sleeping last night due to eating crappy food before bed...alot of heartburn...and then finally i could not take it anymore and decided to get myself out of bed at like 5:30 in the morning. So I started getting my laundry on, and doing some dishes that were left from the night before while thinking..WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE? COME ON ROSY...GET WITH THE PROGRAM...WHY KILL YOUR BODY AND DESTROY ALL THAT YOU HAVE DONE TO TURN IT AROUND!!YOU HAVE WORKED SO HARD!!
I think my problem though friends is that instead of looking at it in a way where its in a more laid back atmosphere...like..."ok watch what you eat"..."don't eat junk during the week", "watch portions and concentrate on eating fruits and veggies and healthier foods" ....and "include exercising at least 30 minutes a day cardio..and some weights".....
......I believe in my mind i am still thinking I have to be strict and serious like I once was...but really friends I don't really have time or energy to keep that up. I lost alot of time with my family throughout this year, trying to give everyone a story on hope and determination..and i think our point was very much proven..but right now..I really think for me..its more about staying at a healthy range in weight, maintaining it...and just keep being physically active and keep that in my life forever.
I was never intending to be body builder by all means..so why am i beating myself up because I cannot get into the seriousness like before when I know for a fact I dont want that. Perhaps because that was my life for 12 months. But, I do know one thing..if i would just stop with thinking those strictness thoughts and look at it in more of a relaxed look...I probably wouldnt get myself so stressed out, and might be able to enjoy the gym like I always talked about.
Remember I used to say how i would go to the gym..and watch others as they would just enjoy their time there, feeling great about working out and being active..while I on the other hand would jump from one thing to another..kicking my butt...doing one hour of cardio..tons of weight lifting..never stopping? Well, really...I cannot do that forever. Nor deep down to I really want to.
I guess perhaps its a more mental thing. Almost feel like I might dissapppoint people if I am not like "perfect" like those pictures regarding muscles etc..? But I shouldnt think like that anymore.
Now that we did that story..its important for me to remember that I do have another life besides that, I have 3 young kids who need their mother, a husband who has been so patient throughout..probably more patient then any husband would be. Imagine even for him, watching the kids all the time when i had to go to the gym for hours..being with them friday nights while i did the challenge with the girls..always on the go..really...not many husbands could handle that. But he gave me that time. And now I think I owe it to him and my children to be around more.
I think we all think a little too much really. Especially myself these days. Combine this with the projects I am working on, and ideas on where I go from here, the holidays..its no wonder I havent been able to get focused on losing the weight I put on because of everything.
But thats enough now..as of this morning, I will not let it get to me anymore. I want to lose this little bit of exta weight..and i will not stress on losing it fast but yet at a healthy rate. I will watch what i eat..and not eat garbage..and do cardio and weights for about 1 hour in the gym 5 days a week..and go and enjoy my life afterwards. What a relief that sounds like to me when reading it back. No stress..just do what you have to do..but most importantly start NOW.
Having to lose between 15-20lbs is so duable friends, and i will never allow myself to go higher than where I am now. It about taking control before it gets out of hand you know. It tough, but once you have been through it once, you know damn well you can do it again..but we just cannot keep letting time pass. The more you let it pass the more worser of a situation it becomes. so thats it...no more acid reflux..no more feeling crappy because I am making excuses for not being serious enough to get this little bit of weight off because i am not 275lbs anymore..it doesnt matter..whether its 5lbs or 25lbs...it is time to take charge and get back down!
I wanted to mention though friends that now that our book is coming out, the publisher had mentioned how I should consider taking down this blog. Just because the stories..some of them anyways..will be in the book...and i suppose its true.
SO I will be keeping this blog up only until january 12, and at that time..because we will be sending limited copies of our book out to the stores etc..so I may consider deleting it....I "may" however start up another one..perhaps on how my maintaining is going etc..if you all want to hear about it...i dunno...we will see.
So if you havent pre-ordered a book yet and really want to get yourself one, please do so..makes it alot easier through here with paypal..and you get even get a free admission pass into the health and wellness show here I January ...AND we are giving a portion of the funds that we make from each book to the heart and stroke foundation. Its a win win situation!
so ..lets come together and make this really work. I hope that you all will take a piece of this blog and keep it for yourselves by purchasing a book, so that I will never be forgotten..nor my personal journey regarding this part of my life. You will always be able to reread if you are ever having a hard time..and just remember always friends that "where there is a will there is a way"..and with a just a little bit of hope and determination we can all get to our goals..and experience the feelings of "victory" just as I did.
It really was an amazing feeling friends. Although to me I was somwhat underweight in the end..and there was not much to me...man.... to walk away and being able to say I did what I said I would do...having no regrets..was the greatest feeling in the world!! Remember this IMPORTANT fact too.... that I have always been overweight all my life, I have never experienced being what people would consider "normal" So...to actually live that freedom has been truely a blessing. One, that many other people tend to take for granted. Its like breathing for the first time in your life!!
Anyways, hugs to everyone...hope everyone is doing well..and like i said if you havent preordered a book..now is the best time to do so cause you will be guaranteed a copy..once I delete this blog..not sure when or how you will always hear about the details on where some books are etc...
And dont forget..to come and see me at the health and wellbeing show. I would love to meet you all in person and have a chance to talk to you all there!!It would be my pleasure in meeting all those who have supported me and encouaged me along the way. The people who allowed me into their lives everyday...who took time out to come here and read my blog...I thank all of you! have a great day Rosy C.W.H.T.I