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Matrimony Monday: Fighting Wedding Overload.

Posted Oct 22 2012 7:42am

On the 7th months-until -our-wedding-date-date, I’ve decided to start blogging more frequently about the wedding and wedding planning because

  • it’s fun
  • many friends & family members have gotten engaged recently and it’s a great way to share information and resources
  • I need lists
  • I think it’s a really interesting process/time of life/element of society. 
  • I am unable to do anything in life without analyzing it. Hence, why I blog. 

If hearing about weddings is a “don’t” vs. a “do” for you, I will only post about the wedding on Mondays. Feel free to boycott that day. ;)

One thing that I’ve noticed about my attitude towards the wedding in the past few weeks is that it can get slightly obsessive, shall we say. For some reason, making decisions about seating charts and monograms and color schemes all seem like major deals. In big girl reality, I know they’re not in the big picture, but it SEEMS like they are – when you’re in your 4th hour of Pin-stagram-log-ing (that’s Pinterest/Instagram/Blogging and I copyright that, stat) or the 5th person asks you how things are going, or your friend gets engaged or you see something on TV about weddings.

Don’t get me wrong. I love talking about planning, I love that people ask me and I’m so excited to get married. But my question is – How do we stay sane in the face of the internet and our internal voice telling us that everything has to be PinStagramLog worthy? 

I know this post is about weddings, but I also think it applies to a lot of what happens in the blogging community or anytime humans get together (re: often). Someone posts or Tweets or Instagrams something and it starts.  You start to make judgements based on what you think is “worthy.” Based on the number of comments or likes or posts it gets. Based on how people respond. Then you start to compare yours to theirs, in either a negative or a positive way (often for me, it makes me think a) Ugh, I don’t do that and I should or b) Oh god, do I have to think of that too?!) How do we keep ourselves from getting overloaded with negative thoughts about how we’re exercising or eating or how it compares to someone else? How we thought our mileage or ideas or dress looked great until we saw someone else’s picture and though…”Oh. Maybe it doesn’t?” 

Here’s what I’ve been trying to do lately when I notice these thoughts happening (both wedding, life & blogging related) and I’d love to hear yours in the comments. 

1. Turn it Off

Turn off the phone, Internet, Pinterest, Instagram, blogs or anything else that’s starting to give me anxiety. Step away from it and remind myself it’s supposed to be “fun.” If I’m getting too stressed or starting to get too wrapped up in it, it’s time to step away. 

2. Repeat My Mantra

For the wedding, I say this: “It’s not about the centerpieces.” This helps me to remember what getting married is REALLY about. In 20 years, no one is going to remember the table decorations or what song we were introduced to or the millions of other elements that we stress over leading up to the wedding. I might, but no one else is. And if they judge me for a decision regarding the wedding – or anything else I’m doing in school, work, workouts or food choices – then I probabblyyy don’t really want their opinions anyway. 

(Though my milk glass centerpieces are going to look fracking awesome.)

3. Do My Homework

If I’m being truly honest with myself, looking at wedding stuff on the Internet has become the new way for me to procrastinate. When I have an entire paper to write, 4 chapters to read, papers to correct, lessons to teach, food to make, a dog to walk and a billion errands that didn’t get done – it’s a LOT easier and less stressful to look at pretty invitations or see what other bloggers did with dessert tables. Avoidance, thy name is Chevron table runners. 

4. Remember to Check In

Namely, with my soon to be husband. He keeps Scarlett and me on the path of least insanity. When he notices I’ve been staring at my phone for an hour and it’s past my bedtime, or I’m spending too much time Pinning things or I’m debating this choice or that choice, he reminds me that we’ll figure it out. And it will be fine. And to stop comparing myself to Photoshopped images or someone’s picture of their Garmin’s 7:00 minute mile splits for 13 miles. That’s not me. That’s them. And I need to do me.

I also check in with this lady, who doesn’t give two poops about what my grades are or what type of linens I’m using. Just as long as I give snuggies and sneak her some chicken from time to time – it’s all good. 

 

So, how do you keep yourself from comparing or getting too overwhelmed with what “everyone else is doing?” I hope you’ll give me your tips and thoughts on what I think a lot of us struggle with. :)  

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