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Listen…Really Listen

Posted Sep 30 2008 7:10am

Is there someone in your life that needs you to listen….really listen to them?

Listening is different than hearing.  Hearing is waiting for the other person to finish talking so you can say what you want to say.  Try listening to someone in your life.  Listen to what they are saying and what they aren’t saying, what are the feelings and emotions they seem to be experiencing.  Ask yourself if you listened beyond the superficialities?  Ask yourself if you paid attention to the words, tone of voice, and body language clues?  Were you truly present with this person?

Before becoming a coach, I realized that I half-way listened.  We are all good at multi-tasking including listening.  For example, when I was on my computer and my kids wanted to tell me something, I’d “listen” to them plus divide my attention with what I was doing on the computer.  What message was I unknowingly sending to them?  When it comes to listening to my family and friends, my clients, and members, I no longer multi-task.  I listen without distractions and give them my complete attention.  My relationships and communications have improved substantially.

You can practice this on your own.  Wherever you are, listen.  Listen to the immediate sounds and also if you deeply listen, you’ll hear other sounds that you wouldn’t have without true listening.  Go outside, you can shut your eyes or not, and listen.  You may hear the birds chirping, off in the background a crow or one of your neighbors mowing the lawn, or kids playing in the faint background.  When you deeply listen, it is amazing.  This is also great to do when the cravings and urge hits to stress eat.  It takes you out of the immediate environment creating the urge and focuses your attention elsewhere.  It is a great tool.  Try it!

Once you’ve gotten into the habit of listening better, check on the impact it has on your relationships in your life.  One of the gifts of coaching that I learned is to truly listen deeply.  It is truly rewarding as a parent, wife, friend, coach, and employee.  It takes your relationships to a deep, meaningful level.  You will feel closer to those special people in your life.  After all, we all want to be listened to.

Believe In Yourself,
Cathy, Certified Life Coach
Weight Loss Surgery Coach
Certified Back On Track Facilitator

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