Note: This post looks long. It's not. It just has lots of pretty pictures. So scroll on, mighty reader. Scroll on... The best parts are at the end because, well, I saved the best for last like all classy dames do.
I promise I will not write this entire post with words like "doth" and "hath" and "cometh."
But it's super tempting.
Medieval Times , located in a kingdom not so far away from my own ( Buena Park , right down the street from Knotts Berry Farm), was kind enough to invite me and three friends to attend a show and partake of their finest eats and some grog. A "Girls KNIGHT Out." Genius.
First things first. When you get in, they assign you to your color(s) for the evening. A tip: Abandon reality at the door. Root for your knight with all your might. We proudly cheered for the black and white knight that evening. And it was worth every vocal chord sprained cause he was dreamy. But more on that later.
Then you have time to hang. We saw all the horses in their stalls being prepped for the show. There are lots of fun things to buy and see and laugh about. We enjoyed the "wench boybeater" tanks. And lots of fun photo opps to be had. My friend Danielle, for instance, contemplated a lovely ensemble from the little princesses section.
The "grog" I mentioned, by the way, is Pepsi products (YAY!!!) or water, tea, etc. Basics. Anything boozy is extra. And frankly, pricey. We skipped the boozy stuff. The food, though, is quite delicious and even though there was not a vegetarian among us, good to know they have them covered.
For the record, I could live on that "castle bread," which is actually a soft, warm garlic bread. The pastry is an apple popover that is also tasty.
But yeah -- bring extra money. If not for the fun goodies in the gift shop, you need to tip your server. The staff is super nice and friendly -- they deserve your love. (Case and point - the couple sitting next to me was horrible. Drunk and disorderly and the server was still delightful. They did not tip. I wanted to punch them. But I overtipped instead.)
Our "wench," Sandra was new to the castle and she was lovely. When she donned her cape and marched with Team Black & White, we hooted and hollered for her.
Why was the couple next to me drunk and disorderly, by the way? Because they were downing these bad boys:
Don't get me wrong - another time, another place, I'd be ALL ABOUT these. But on an empty stomach, lord knows how many they put away before they sat down. I just had to mention it in here cause seriously, they were a mess. It was hilarious, though, and made much of night even more enjoyable. In fact, in hindsight, I probably enjoyed sitting next to them more than I would have small children, so thanks drunk couple!
But then there's the show. ON WITH THE SHOW! It's pretty awesome. And the more you allow yourself to be a goofball, the more fun you'll have. And needless to say, WE HAD A LOT OF FUN!
These guys are badass, ok? There's horses and a friggin' FALCON and the knights with the swords and the dueling and the jousting. The arena is filled with the oderous fumes of testosterone, ladies. Eat your hearts out.
But wait, cause now this brings me to the BEST PART.
I mentioned our knight was dreamy? I wasn't kidding. Don't judge me -- we were there for a Girls Knight Out, after all. Why shouldn't we enjoy some eye candy? This is a pretty family friendly spot but good to know there's plenty of ways to enjoy the show without kids in tow, right?
And - ADDED BONUS - I got to interview my knight. Remember when I said "best part?"
Please meet Sam Houx, 23, from Crescent, California. How often do you get to hear from these guys? Probably not very often. This was a lot of fun to do and thanks so much, Sam, for humoring me.
Q: Are you a full-time knight or do you have other occupations in your kingdom?
I am a full-time knight. When we are not performing we are busy up keeping the weapons and caring for our trusty companions; our stallions. We also train for two to three hours a day, five days a week.
Q: What do you do for fun when you're not working/knighting?
I enjoy working out. I am also into video games. I play World of War Craft.
Q: Did you already have experience on horseback or did you have to apprentice before being knighted?
I did not. I was a horseback “virgin.” I had to learn everything brand new. Before becoming a knight, we must be a squire and from there we go onto train to be a knight. The process takes anywhere from six months to one year.
Q: Is there a fair maiden in your life? Do you wear the armor on dates? (I would.)
Yes, there is a fair maiden in my life. Unfortunately, I do not.
Q: What is your favorite medieval snack and/or beverage? I was partial to the Diet Grog, myself.
I don’t think my favorite snack/drink is medieval but I’ll tell you anyway -- protein shakes. It’s how I stay so “knightly.”
TO which I say: KEEP IT UP, SAM. IT'S WORKING. I should also mention Sir Sam is like seven feet tall. Ok, in all seriousness, he's probably like 6'7". But yeah, he's a big guy. *wink*wink* (Yeah, I went there. Deal with it.)
So... thank you so much Medieval Times. And again, thanks to Sandra and Sam. And to the fair maidens who joined me in this KNIGHT out. What a great time!
And even though we already got through the best part, here is the SECOND BEST part. Because in addition to this coupon code "35BLOG" which will save you more than $20 per person on admission , I am giving away FOUR tickets to attend the show! YES! You and your best maidens and knights or little princes and princesses can go and enjoy. Consider it a gift from Sam, the dreamy knight (who, fair warning, may not be wearing black and white the night you attend, so keep an eye out for his wonderfully chiseled features).