Well as far as tackling those resolutions of mine, I’m getting a terribly late start. I pretty much failed miserably, in fact.
I worked out once in January. It was a great cardio moment for me. I remember how great I felt after doing so, but for some stupid reason (pure laziness, I’m guessing) I didn’t do any more.
It might be that I’m having my monthly right now, but today is just a crappy day for me emotionally. I’m feeling all sorts of things that I hate myself for feeling. Things that I think have been burned into my brain not just by myself, but by so-called friends and lovers.
Sure, it might be Groundhog Day for the rest of the nation, but it’s “Inadequate Day” in my head today.
I’m not going to really focus on the details, but basically it’s the kind of day where you sit there and no matter how hard you try, no matter how much positive self-talk you try to conjure up, nothing works. I was just telling a friend on Skype that basically I find myself wishing I could fall asleep and wake up 15 years in the past for one hell of a “do over”.
I think this “funk” has actually peaked. It’s been building up and growing no matter how hard I tried to fight it for quite some time now, and it’s finally here. I’m hoping I can just coast down the rest of the way at lightning speed to get the hell out of it and start making some major changes in my life.
I think I’m going to start with goal-setting. Mini goals, monthly in fact. Of course, that didn’t do me much good when it came to the goal of working out every day, but maybe if I figure out some cool way to track it I’ll do better. I just need to stop feeling like I have no control… you know?
Have you ever had an “Inadequate Day”? Where everything around you makes you feel like you’re completely useless? To everyone in your life, to yourself?