My heart ached as I learned that a fellow blogger committed suicide on January 9th. Karissa Gindling age 31 was one sweet gal. She was the owner of Prissy Green. She had a wonderful personality with a beautiful smile to match. We were e-mailing back in forth about blogging ideas for my blog. She was kind and helpful. In her last post she stated she was taking a small break for personal reasons. I was waiting to hear back from her and never did. I went to her site and read the news about her suicide. I thought know way, Not sweet happy Karissa. For day's I have been down wishing somehow someone or even I could have helped. I am so sorry for what should must have been going through to end her life so tragically. I had to write a farewell post about this sweet woman. My oldest Brother left the earth the same way she did and others I know have done the same.
Depression is serious. Having gone through it after my mother passed away and at other hard times in my life I know the affect in can have on people. Always reach out if you are hurting. Today call a friend you haven't talk to in along time. E-mail your family and friends. Squeeze your kiddos a bit tighter. Smile at someone. In memory of sweet Karissa.
~ Jill If you are considering suicide pleaseclick here
Hi, I'm Karissa's mom. I knew of Karissa's depression. I knew of her depression when she was a little girl. The doctors didn't believe me, they thought it was a phase and she would outgrow it. When she was 13 years old she was hospitalized for depression but at that time it was treated more as a behavior problem. No drugs were given in those days. We together struggled with couseling, physciatrist but she also needed medication. Her father and I divorced when she was 9. I had remarried and moved to another city. Karissa was a Daddy's girl and missed him dearly, and kept those feelings inside. She wouldn't share those feelings with anyone, she didn't want her dad to know that she was hurting because of his move. It wasn't until she died that I found out how much that move really hurt her. He only lived 30 minutes away but to a young girl it was a million miles away. She needed her daddy. Once she turned 18 the medication began and at times she would get a little better but it never lastest for a long period. I would always get the same phone calls " mom it's creped back in or I'm down again will you take me to the doctor" and off we would go. Then she started having migraine headaches and that started the isolation. Now, I know and I knew before she died that she didn't have migrianes...she had anixety headaches and used them as an excuse to hide her depression. I feel as though I screamed from the mountain tops for help with my daughter, but I couldn't get anyone to help me. Her smile, her beautiful smile fooled everyone. I still six months now that she's been gone don't understand why the people who loved her would not believe her mother. Mother's know their daughter's. I knew my daughter needed help, more help than just I could encourage her to get on my own...I needed support from the others who also loved Karissa. If she would've known that her secret was out, just maybe she would have felt more comfortable sharing that interable battle she had been living with for years.
Karissa had come home for the last six days of her life. I thank God each and every day for that gift. She gave me no clues during that time, Karissa was at PEACE with her decision. She left me a letter letting me know that God was calling her home. Karissa is now in God's loving presence and I am so thankful her pain is finally over. I've never been mad or angry at Karissa because I've always understood and believed her pain of depression.
Now, I need to find a way to live without her. How does a mother live without her daughter? I have peaks and valley's, but the six month mark has simply been unbearable. To know what it feels like not to talk, feel, see my daughter in six months...I can't imagine what the time ahead is going to feel like. It is only by the grace of God that I am able to put one foot in front of the other.
Please, Please if you are depressed ask someone anyone for help.