If only, if only, if only…..ever hear yourself saying that. If only I hadn’t regained weight. If only I had reached my goal. If only I stayed on track. You “if only” your life away. Many of us look and live in the past of missed opportunities and regrets. It is impossible to change the past. It doesn’t accomplish or benefit us to live in the past. What we can do is reflect on the past, take what we can from it that will benefit us and our future.
What does living in the past truly get us? It allows us to live in the past and thus not face or plan for the future. It also allows us to blame others if we are stuck in the past unable to move into our future. Fear of success can also play a part in staying stuck in the muck of the past. How can we move forward it we can’t get past our past? If we are living in the past we don’t have to make decisions or changes for our life today or the future. Ask yourself why you are living in the past? Take the lessons and benefits - apply them to your life today - put it in gear and move forward with the benefit of the past and not dwelling in it.
Living in the past also keeps you from feeling responsible for your life today. If you can blame others for your life today, shortcomings, being in a rut, then they are the scapegoat and you don’t have to be responsible for your life, choices, goals and dreams.
Think about what lies ahead for you. You may not see that anything is in your life today or your future. It is. It is yours for the taking. The blame game occurs in the past but the main gain of your life is in today and your future.
Try to put a period on the past. How’s this “This is my past.” See the period after the word “past?” Try saying “My life is today and my future.” Has a much better sound to it, right? Much more optimistic, full of hope, excitement and full of possibilities.
I saw this on a church marquis a few years ago and it has been huge in my personal growth and moving forward in my life. It said “Consider that you have been given two lives - the one you were born into and the one that you create for yourself.” I love that. The life I was given was my childhood and upbringing. It was developed by my family of origin and not one that I take responsibility for in how I was brought up and raised. However, once on my own, this is my life. I am responsible for my choices, what I do, how I’ve grown personally and what I’ve done with my life.
Many of us look backwards too often. We drive a car (that represents our life) looking in the rearview mirror. The past is the past. Learn what you can from the past and look ahead in the windshield, again representing your life, and put it in drive and move forward. Move forward to the destination which are your goals and dreams.
Believe In Yourself, Cathy, CLC Certified Life Coach, Weight Loss Surgery Coach Certified Back On Track Facilitator