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I Want It, But I Don’t Want It (Part 1)

Posted Mar 14 2013 6:04pm

“If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint’, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.” ~ Vincent van Gogh

There’s been a common theme amongst my clients lately. They have dreams of doing something or becoming something, but they’re afraid to start. They’re afraid they’re not good enough. They’re afraid to fail.

Well duh.

That’s the human condition, right?

But why?

Over the years I’ve written a lot about something I (and many others) call The Voice: a critical, unkind entity that resides in our brains, but which seems to be out of our control. The Voice says things like:

Who do you think you are?

You don’t deserve that!

Don’t even bother trying!

You’re pathetic!

Remember what happened the last time you tried?

Don’t rock the boat!

You’re not good enough!

You suck!

I used to think that The Voice was not truly part of me, that it was bigger and louder for me (than it was for people who were achieving their dreams) and that it was something that needed to be silenced for good if I was ever going to achieve mine.

What I’ve come to understand is that The Voice is the same within all of us…the difference is that some people have learned to look for evidence that supports what The Voice says, while others look for evidence to support their dreams and desires.

But why would any of us look for evidence – on purpose – to support what The Voice says? Because sometimes we don’t want to change our thoughts. They’re ingrained and we’re attached to them. They have become unconscious beliefs. And when we believe something, we always find evidence to support that belief.

And this is why we feel conflict (wanting something but taking no action to get it). There are two competing forces: our unconscious beliefs and our conscious dreams and desires.

Then we ask ourselves, “If I really want [fill in the blank], why am I not doing anything about it? Maybe I don’t really want it? Why, if I want it, don’t I want it?”

This is what I call “waking up.” It is the beginning of transformation.

Just remember, The Voice doesn’t have the final word unless we choose to let it.

Are you looking for evidence that you suck? That you can’t be healthy? That you can’t be happy? That you can’t be a rock star? Why?

My name is Karen Anderson. I am the Acceptance Whisperer. I help women remove shame, blame, desperation, and resistance (aka The Voice) so they don’t have to white-knuckle it for the rest of their lives. Because really…who wants to live like that?

Wanna know more? Click here to set up an appointment so we can chat. I’d love to hear from you! 

“The ultimate purpose of inquiry is that it allows us to pause, rather than ride along on the habitual track of our assumptions about reality. In the space of a pause, truth can shine through.” ~ True Refuge

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