I've had a pretty stressful week but I've been feeling pretty normalised in my eating patterns. Something has clicked into place. So today I decided as a treat to make chocolate chip cookies. I knew I was not going to binge on them. I feel healthier and able to make sensible choices without deprivation.
When the cookies were done I sat and had a glass of milk and two of the cookies. Immediately I began to feel funny. I was shaky and had this weird cloudiness come over me. It passed after a few moments. I haven't been eating refined sugar lately and I guess my body was shocked by it.
Now the thing is, I've had this happen before. I'm sure it's the adult equivalent of the sugar-rush except it feels creepy to one who likes to have control over herself. A while later I went and had one more. Same thing, that rushy/shaky feeling yet again. I don't have this happen when I'm eating sugar regularly, I think we either get used to the feeling so it's not a shock or we're numbed by the cloudiness and I don't notice.
Either way, no more cookies for me. I don't like the feeling. The cookies are not that good(wow, did I actually say that?).
Now to address the issue of stress. It's been a week of challenges. My wonderful aunt has been diagnosed with pretty serious cancer. Originally it was thought to be just in her colon but it's been found in both lungs, on her liver and in the lymph nodes. She will have quite a battle to fight. I've been walking around feeling helpless and then today I decide enough of that, if I can't help her I'll help someone else. So I set up a team for the cancer Relay Walk for Life and I've signed up 7 of our family members to walk with me on June 12. Instead of moping and eating my way through, I'm being proactive and I'm going to work my way through it. This will help my family who can't be there for her, get together for a good cause and help each other while raising awareness and money.
Affirmation: I will find a way to direct my energy into something positive that helps instead of burying my emotions under a pile of crappy food and sugar. A healthy me can better serve the world.