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I've Fallen and Can't Get Up!

Posted May 28 2009 12:18am
Sorry for the absence, for those who missed me! :) I've been saving up some "post titles" in draft form, so I could remember some of the things that I wanted to write about, when I was up for writing again! For some reason, I needed a "posting holiday", from both this blog, and my private "gratitude blog" that I keep.

Now I'm back! Anyhow, wondering what's behind my title? One of the things that was so awful about the size that I once was, was that when I fell, I couldn't really get up with the large unmaneuverable nearly 400 lb body I was living in. I have one bad knee that is "bone on bone". I'm convinced there's a familial tendency towards knee problems, due to the prevalence of problems in my family and all the artificial knees. However, in truth, the weight surely didn't help.

Because of the problem with my knees, it would hurt so much, that I couldn't even tolerate the short few seconds I would have to be on them, on the way to getting up, at any time that I fell. I'd have to come up with creative ways to get up off the floor, the very few times I fell. I don't know why I fell, as it doesn't seem to be something I have done for a loooooooooong time! Maybe I had worse balanced with that body, or maybe I'd trip and not be agile enough to catch myself. Anyhow, I'd have to do things like scoot to a couch, use my arms and try to pull up to the couch, and go from there.

I remember one incident where I tripped and fell in front of the classroom in the junior high I was teaching in. I had my oxygen tank connect to me as well. I sprawled in front, I can't get up, the kids are watching, necks craning, watching the "spectacle". There were two other teacher's in the room, thankfully one a man, who probably had some muscles. Anyhow, they had to come help pull me up to a standing position, bypassing my knees. That had to take some muscles to do. It's a pretty embarrassing situation if you think about it.

It wasn't until about 6 months ago that I finally allowed myself to get on the floor. I figured I should be at a point where I was agile enough to take advantage of some possible ways to get up from the floor without having to go onto my knees. I was surprised at all the different ways I could get up, without going on my knees, now that I have a much smaller, more agile body. One thing I avoided still was the knees. My hands had to take the weight and I was able to get up from there, push up style or any other number of ways I could think of! I no longer have the "falling, and can't get up problem. I'm no longer afraid of getting on the floor.

A few days ago, little Mackie wanted me to read to him (2 1/2 years old). I don't know why, but he likes me to sit on the floor in my living room in a certain spot. I was holding his little 2 month old baby brother. Mackie was pretty upset and having a hard day. He was crying a lot and wanting attention. He let me know he wanted me on the floor, reading to him. So I went downstairs, sat in our spot as I held Finnley. Mission accomplished. However, when we were done, I realized I had a dilemma. Full arms! I couldn't use my hands to help me maneuver my body up. There was no ands or buts about it, I needed to use my knees. Bracing myself for the coming pain, I went onto my knees and then up. Shocker of all shockers, NO PAIN! Nothing! What just happened? Despite my bad knee, still bone on bone, it turns out maybe a lot of my knee pain was just supporting those 222 extra pounds. Wow! Great dividends! What joy to see the things I can now do, that I thought I'd never do again, including being "on my knees"! :)
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