In the beginning of this process, I knew my goals and had my motivation. My motivation in the beginning it was about living to watch PJ grow up; he's 6 now. We have fun and things are good and I've lost 45-50lbs (the scale wiggles). Then it was about cholesterol and triglycerides and the possibility of having Metabolic Syndrome . I quickly changed my eating habits and started working out and for the first 3 months I also took SlimQuick and lost 28lbs in those three months. Then came the holidays, I took a break from the weight loss process and just maintained. I ended up maintaining for quiet awhile. Well it's been since June of 2008 and I have been struggling to get past the 50lbs mark. Lately it seems like I've been grasping at straws trying to find something that works, I've been counting calories and changing up my workout and it's just not happening. Now I'm struggling with back problems that will only get worse if I don't take care of it, which means not doing some of the things I enjoy....like running. PJ loves to go "walking and running" with me and now we can't do that. It saddens me to be told I CAN'T DO IT, for as long as I've known me (which is almost 33 years) I've always wanted to prove people wrong when they say I can't. Only when the Doctor says no more running or you accelerate the problem...I feel like I should listen. I don't want to but I know I should. It's depressing, I'm bummed and really just thinking about it makes me want to cry. I just want to be done. I want the weight gone. I want the pain gone. The more I go through the harder it gets and some days I'm just tired of fighting and I feel like I've been fighting for so long, and it's exhausting.