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I’m Responsibly Selfish

Posted Mar 25 2013 9:40pm

I’m also … flexibly consistent and non-obsessively determined.

That’s how I would now describe myself.

Today I woke up to this.


So NOT how I wanted to start the week. Especially at the end of March. Ugh. Needless to say, school was closed and our entire morning routine was thrown for a loop. That meant no gym for me. The day care was opening 2 hours late and I got a call from the neighbor asking if I could watch her son as well.

YAY for hectic Mondays!

I kid, of course. It sucked. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays are the only days I get a few hours to work without any kids, and starting off the week already behind is, well, poo-poo.  <–why yes, I do have a toddler. How can you tell?

Anyway, what are ya going to do?

I had to regroup and figure out a new schedule for the day.

The gym has classes in the afternoon but normally between dinner, lacrosse practice, and The Husband’s Paddle Tennis, evenings are out for mommy time. That’s why I go first thing in the morning. Less conflict and I’m guaranteed (most days) to get my run or classes in.

Today, however, all evening activities were canceled as well, which opened the door for me swap my morning class for an afternoon one.  I mentioned it to The Husband and we figured out a new flow for the afternoon.

That left dinner. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on how you look at it), I’m the only cook in the house, so all meal decisions fall within my realm.

Queue the crock pot!

I looked in the pantry and had everything I needed for Simple Chicken and Oat Stew with Northern Beans. (Click here for the recipe.)

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner!

I was psyched for a warm bowl of yummy goodness when I got back from the gym. Nothing like having dinner ready for you when you walk through the door, and since I married a non-cook, this is the closest I’m ever gonna get.

I’m happy to say it all worked out and I got my gym time in. On my drive home I realized while I was there I didn’t think about anything else. I didn’t worry about the kids, dinner, my inbox, my phone, the conference, anything. Honestly, I even forgot how late it was! I was just in the moment, doing my thing and spending much needed time on ME. Novel idea for a mom, right?

It’s my responsible selfishness,  flexible consistency, and non-obsessive determination that helps me make that happen almost daily.

I no longer feel guilty for insisting on “me” time, but there are ways to do it while considering others’ needs as well. I couldn’t leave my husband in a lurch this morning just to go to the gym — that would have been selfish. Instead I worked with him and found a different way to make it happen while still taking care of my responsibilities. It is a balancing act but it is possible to care for others AND yourself.

I’ve blogged about this before (click here ,) it’s a mindset I’ve worked very hard to master, similar to the “do what you can when you can” mentality. Just because things aren’t perfect doesn’t mean you walk away and give up. This is how I battle the deadly perfection mentality.

I was determined to get my workout in today, but you know what, if it didn’t happen that would have been OK, too. I’d just start my routine back up tomorrow (Hello Flexible Consistency!) Being determined is a great thing until you’re so obsessed it affects other areas of your life. I like to go to the gym, but it’s not the end of the world if sometimes, life gets in the way because you know what? It will.

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