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Here Comes the Bridesmaid

Posted Jul 07 2008 7:14pm

I would not dream of leaving you all out of the fun since I forced my dress and cleavage on your for months now, leading up to this wedding. :)

02_2Seriously, it was just a gorgeous, gorgeous wedding. The setting was so charming and lovely and the bride and groom could not have smiled bigger if you paid them to. The ceremony was filled with laughter and personal touches and I was so shocked when even I teared up a little. I keep thinking all these weddings I've been attending lately will eventually leave me immune to the joyfulness of it all but it doesn't seem to happen. 

We started the day fairly early, so that all of the bridesmaids would have enough time for hair and make-up. My hair was fabulous - you would not believe it. I was completely elated until we all started to get dressed and my shoes didn't fit. What the hell, right? They were fine the day before but stress and heat and maybe something I ate had made my feet swell and my adorable silver strappies no long fit. I was forced to shove my feet into them anyway because you can't very well be a shoeless bridesmaid (although, maybe you can in some settings). It sort of hurt my mood, and I felt really bad for it so I kept to myself for a little while.

My only wish is that people had left me alone. The girls kept fussing over how big my chest was and I was starting to feel really uncomfortable. People kept tugging up my dress, making cracks, telling me a strap was showing. I felt so completely insecure that by the time the bride wanted to take a humorous cleavage shot of all the girls at the wedding site, I was happier to step out of the photo and fight back my tears in a corner.

But I bounce back. I always bounce back. A little while later, when pre-wedding photos were done and we ladies were relaxing in an air-conditioned waiting room, my feet finally fit into my shoes without causing me to wish for amputation. I was delighted. It's the little things.

01_2A few drinks into the reception, I wasn't worried about how I looked anymore and of course, I was, by then, in my bridesmaid flip-flops, sneaking vodka from my flask (as I am classy) and loving life. The room as filled with laughter and happiness and it was impossible to shake the gigantic smile plastered on my face.

In retrospect, maybe my dress just didn't fit me as well as I thought, though, since you can see my bra peaking out in a lot of the photos and I am convinced I look like a bloated whale though some of my friends tell me otherwise. My friend Meghan, whose honesty and opinions I trust implicitly, assures me I look okay so I am trying to lean on that point of view.

What I should have done is take more solo photos instead of putting myself in pictures with skinny girls wearing the same dress as I was. That's when I am utterly upset with my appearance. That's how the dress wassupposedto look. That's the right look. I feel like I am the "before" model in a really tragic before and after ad.

03Weddings are usually a good excuse to pig out but I actually didn't eat too much. I actually gorged myself at the rehearsal dinner, but I was completely famished by the time food was served and didn't give a rat's ass about what went into my mouth. (The classiness is really overwhelming.)

I did enjoy the wedding cake, though, which was carrot cake. I justify this because it is carrots, which means the cake was really, practically HEALTH food, so who cares that I inahled the piece of cake like a dose of fresh air?

Overall? Ultimately? An amazing, wonderful, magnificent day. In truth, how I looked didn't matter. What I ate was of no consequence. It only mattered that my best friend and her now-husband were completely in love, totally overjoyed, and starting their lives together. As a result, being a bridesmaid in this wedding was an honor and pleasure, worth every internal struggle. I am so very happy for my friends.

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