Eating makes me feel like crap. I ate real food last night. Ground beef, french sliced green beans + potatoes. Sick. Then Sluggish. No "dump" but a definite reaction. I don't even like the way FULL feels. Full makes me feel sick, it's like if I eat anything that requires any breaking down, it's got to be forced through the pouch and into the intestine, where it goes through, extra slowly, giving me problems all the way, until then, I get, um, stuck. Fiber + me don't mix either, so to avoid exploding if I am to eat real food, I must have fiber. It's going to have to come in the form of fiber granules out of a bottle.
One would think that eating food and then the subsequent feeling like crap would make it easy to just forget about eating altogether. Not so. The brain is so hard-wired for intake that it works like this:
"Hmm, food makes me feel sick. I am hungry. What doesn't make me feel sick? Dry crackers. ::look at box, see carbs, throw away box:: Cheese? ::eat a handful of mozzarella:: Nah, cheese all day isn't a good thing. ::one more handful:: So, protein bars. The two or three that "work" for me right now. ::eats half a bar:: But, I'm hungry again. What now? Dry crackers?"
Repeat. All day long. It's a head thing. If I could just switch my thinking to food = medicincal only, I think I could beat this. Food is not my friend, and I don't EVER look forward to it. Maybe that's what the surgery gave me - the sick reaction to food so that I'd lose my addiction. It's nearly gone, but I'm still hungry! (Dude, wasn't that a book?!) I have to physically eat to live. We know this. But, the cycling eating Must End. The grazing. I don't feel well at any time though, if I do anything BUT graze-eat. See how dangerous it is though? And, I Don't eat "bad" foods! I get in trouble with any food. Anything. It's not like I'm over here making corndogs and mac and cheese. Ugh. Oh, so what does this mean?
Liquids only for a while. I need to shut the graze monster off before she starts. I am going to go weigh in, too. I think I've been at the same spot for days again. 165. I'll post if it's changed.
Oh, and this is what came from OH, that I mentioned in the video:
"OH Staff To all my names... 3:17 am (8 hours ago) Beth,
We have noticed you have signed up recently under various names. Your old account has not yet been purged from the system. We would be willing to reactivate your account if you will agree to follow Obesityhelp's terms of service. Should you decide to come back, you would be welcome to post about your blog on your profile page, but having the link within your signature would not be allowed. The reason for this is it appears that your blog page has a store on it. Any type of advertising for personal profit on the message board violates the TOS.
Eating makes me feel like crap. I ate real food last night. Ground beef, french sliced green beans + potatoes. Sick. Then Sluggish. No "dump" but a definite reaction. I don't even like the way FULL feels. Full makes me feel sick, it's like if I eat anything that requires any breaking down, it's got to be forced through the pouch and into the intestine, where it goes through, extra slowly, giving me problems all the way, until then, I get, um, stuck. Fiber + me don't mix either, so to avoid exploding if I am to eat real food, I must have fiber. It's going to have to come in the form of fiber granules out of a bottle.
One would think that eating food and then the subsequent feeling like crap would make it easy to just forget about eating altogether. Not so. The brain is so hard-wired for intake that it works like this:
Repeat. All day long. It's a head thing. If I could just switch my thinking to food = medicincal only, I think I could beat this. Food is not my friend, and I don't EVER look forward to it. Maybe that's what the surgery gave me - the sick reaction to food so that I'd lose my addiction. It's nearly gone, but I'm still hungry! (Dude, wasn't that a book?!) I have to physically eat to live. We know this. But, the cycling eating Must End. The grazing. I don't feel well at any time though, if I do anything BUT graze-eat. See how dangerous it is though? And, I Don't eat "bad" foods! I get in trouble with any food. Anything. It's not like I'm over here making corndogs and mac and cheese. Ugh. Oh, so what does this mean?Liquids only for a while. I need to shut the graze monster off before she starts. I am going to go weigh in, too. I think I've been at the same spot for days again. 165. I'll post if it's changed.
Oh, and this is what came from OH, that I mentioned in the video:
"OH Staff
To all my names...
3:17 am (8 hours ago)
Beth,
We have noticed you have signed up recently under various names. Your old
account has not yet been purged from the system. We would be willing to
reactivate your account if you will agree to follow Obesityhelp's terms of
service. Should you decide to come back, you would be welcome to post
about your blog on your profile page, but having the link within your
signature would not be allowed. The reason for this is it appears that
your blog page has a store on it. Any type of advertising for personal
profit on the message board violates the TOS.
If you find this agreeable let us know.
Sincerely,
Obesityhelp Staff"