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Happy 4th Birthday Ava!

Posted Sep 03 2010 7:27pm
On September 4, 2006 my life changed forever. my daughter, Ava was born at 9:01 a.m. and at that very moment my whole outlook on life changed. Ava was the greatest surprise I have ever received, before her I was this bratty selfish person who would party hard in college and have no cares about tomorrow. I truly believe she came into my life to better myself and make a difference in the world. As most of you know, I grew up as an overweight child that hid from the world. When I decided to lose weight in high school I did it for all the wrong reasons and all the wrong ways. I was 15 and didn't care about health, the only thing I cared about was getting skinny and looking good. Unfortunately, this carried on to college and turned into a very obsessive eating disorder.
When I found out I was pregnant with Ava, my first thought was "OMG now I'm going to get fat again!" this is so sad to even write. Even at that very moment instead of being excited I was more worried about my weight. I knew I had to eat and I knew I was going to gain weight. I remember crying to Chris and him telling me it's not about YOU anymore. At that very moment something clicked and everything fell into place. IT WASN'T ABOUT ME ANYMORE.
She gave me this purpose, I was carrying this amazing human being that deserved nothing less than a selfless mother. The body I loathed as a child was doing such an amazing thing, I was giving life. I made her and myself a promise, she will never hear me talk in a negative way. I never want her to look down on herself, I teach her to be proud of who she is and because of this she's growing out of the toddler phase and becoming such a happy and POSITIVE young girl.
Ava, I love you very very much and I thank God everyday for bringing you into this world. Thank you for being you, Happy Birthday!

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