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Guest Post: Running Is Better Than Sex (Or, Why I’m Freakin’ Single)

Posted Feb 14 2010 4:03pm

[Tonight we have a guest post from a reader who sent me a message last week saying she was inspired by Shedding It and decided to sit down and write her own Getting It-esque post. She sent it to meandsince I was literally LOLing after about 20 secondsI asked her if I could share it. She asked to remain namelessas she wants toyou knowget a good job somedaybut I told her she needs to take pride in this kind of writing -- because franklyit's pretty awesome. Future employers and parents be damned.]

Today is Valentine’s Day – you either hate it or love it. I’m singleand let me tell youI’m perfectly happy.  Maybe it’s because I’m a relationship cynicor maybe because I have high standardsor maybe I just know that running can so often be better than sex.  So if you’re in the same boat as I am here’s ten reasons why I’m not crying that I (probably!) won’t getting laid on V-Day this year:

10. Running gives you great legs. Who doesn’t love a great pair of legs?  Guys love ‘em and girls respect ‘em.  Having a great pair of legs is a testament to your strength and power.  Strong legs can help you run five milessex just can’t.  Especially when you just lay there and take it (hint: don’t).

9.  You can run by yourself. Now you can have sex by yourself too — it’s called masturbation.  But let’s be serious…unlike masturbationrunning by yourself can be wildly fulfilling.  You get x amount of miles to think about anything you want.  During any type of sexthe only thing you should be thinking iswellabout the sex you’re having.  If your mind is wanderingthe sex isn’t good enough.

8. Running burns more calories. I have no scientific facts to back this statement up.  But I typically find running harderso I’m gonna go with the idea that it earns more calories and works more muscles.  I meanI love a good sack sessionbut I know that in the endthe only thing that will make last Saturday’s drunk Mac and Cheese go away some quality time with your Asics (or Nikesor Adidasor whatev).

7. Running preps you for sex. Enduranceenduranceendurance.  All the fun positions require it.  Great sex can also be athletic sex.  Furthermorewhen you’re heavier you have less of a sex drive.  I meanI love my body more than ever when it’s in shape and it makes me want to show it off!  Leading to…

6. Runners get to wear skimpy clothes in public. I did Cross Country in high school for many reasonsbut one of the best ones: it’s a boy buffet!  Runner guys have toned legs and typically great abs and arms.  Soyou get to show off you’re rockin’ bod and legs to all these scantily-clad guys.  Short shorts?  Check.  Tight fitting sports bra?  Check.  A side note: it’s acceptable for runners (like me) to have small boobs (like me).

5. You can run to rock out music. FranklyI just wouldn’t put on Lady Gaga or Kayne when I’m in the bedroom.

4. Runners never look desperate. The more you runthe more hardcore you will look.  People who run every day are not called addicts.  People who have sex are.  Either that or they’re newlyweds.

3.  You’re not called a whore if you run with different people every weekend. Or even every day.  You will also not get nasty diseases  nor will you be considered a sexual deviant.  While you might get blisters and callouses on your feeta nasty foot does NOT equal a nasty vagina.  Though finding a good running buddy can be like finding a good boyfriend… see #9 on this point.

2. Running works your ass. Fact: sex can make your ass sore too.  Fact: you’ll feel better knowing that your ass is sore because you ran up a mega hill six times.  Fact: Everyone can screwbut not everyone run up a mega hill.

1. A runner’s high lasts longer than an orgasm. Hands downself-explanatory.  Alsothere’s not dimming of the post-sex glow because you didn’t get to cuddle.  Even if you have a bad runyou will still feel betterand it will always keep you coming back for more.

Happy Valentine’s Day!!!!

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