I have an actual goal weight in mind for myself right now. It’s weird for me to be working towards a number, because all the visions I have for myself at “Goal” aren’t about numbers, they are about how I will feel, what I’ll be able to do, how I’ll look, what sizes I’ll wear, but they are emphatically NOT about a number.
But the scale measures numbers, and progress on the other fronts is too ephemeral and too long between noticeable changes (like sizes of pants) to be the ongoing measure, so for now, scale it is. The final number is actually still very unimportant, but the number I have chosen to target I’m pretty sure will correlate with the real goal I have in mind. And if not, I’ll change my goal numbers when I’m there.
I plan to lose around fifty pounds. It will put me at the low end of the “overweight” category for my height, or maybe the tippy top of “normal”. This is on top of the twenty-some pounds I lost already in 2011.
The goal is Audacious. It’s a lower weight than I’ve ever had in my adult life, and as such I’m aware that maybe it’s not reachable. But one thing I am sure of is that it’s not reachable if I don’t try, and that it won’t be more reachable if I wait until I’m even older to try to get there. It’s going to take a lot of effort, a lot of focus. I am currently very lucky to be able to stay home with our son and not be working. That’s likely to change, and it could change in the coming months, so I figure there is no time like the present to really focus on losing weight, because if I can’t do it now, being a stay-at-home-mom, it’s not going to get any easier when my life gets more complicated.
I’ve sucked it up that I need to pay a lot of attention in order to lose weight. I’m pretty confident that I’ll be able to maintain my weight with less attention, since I’ve done that for many years now. But to move the scale significantly lower is going to require significantly more effort.
I have a few tools in place, and several more in mind for the future. My plan right now is to start with three tools that I know work for me, and then modify as needed over the coming months. I’m keeping a list of possible things to try in the future – ideas for support, ideas for exercise, books to read, etc. Some of the books are on diet, but most are on habit change, or other types of development.
Years of dieting, both successful and unsuccessful have one advantage : I know what works for me. I’m not a blind follower of anyone’s diet, and I have an open mind that things might change for me in the future, but right now I have a way of eating that is calorie-appropriate, easy enough for me to manage in my regular life, adapted to life in Paris, enjoyable and has been successful for me in the past. I’m not playing around with the latest diet-of-the-month, I’m sticking to what’s been working for me. (And I’m adding “Diet Jumping” as a strategy for the future if I get bored or stuck).
One of my pet interests is change. Personal change, habit change. I absolutely LOVE the book “Switch” and I’ve blogged about it before. It’s on my list of things I’ll revisit later this year, because I think I still have more to learn from it.
Over a year ago I found a site “Health Month” that was sort of a mash up of support forum and game center for healthy living . I finally started “playing” last October and I’m hooked. It’s not a huge community (a plus for me, I prefer smaller communities online as in real life). The people on there are really smart and kind, and I’ve learned a ton about habits, change, myself. It’s also quick and totally customizable.
I started blogging in 2007. I’ve been through periods where I was more or less regular with it, but the more regular times I’ve been more successful with weight loss. I’m happy for the public (but semi anonymous) sharing, but the main reason I write this blog is for myself, to process what I’m going through, and to hope to glean some learnings for my life.
I have relatively little time available to play on the computer these days, and I have a lot of projects I want to accomplish, and commenting to others blogs is something I just don’t have time for these days. I feel bad not being reciprocal in commenting, and sometimes in the past I’ve felt bad if I wrote a great post but didn’t get many comments. so I’ve decided to turn comments off for now on this blog. I’m reachable, if anyone wants to contact me feel free to send me an email , but I want the focus of my blogging to be on what I need to process on this weight loss journey.
I’ve joined an online weight loss coaching group. There are materials to read, listen to and watch, and most importantly, there are live group coaching calls weekly. The group runs for 12 weeks, so it will take me through the end of March. I’m working with Sandra Ahten, of The Reasonable Diet . I’ve listened to her podcasts for years. I’ve been a client of hers before, and did the same coaching program last year, even though I wasn’t ready to fully commit.
I’m really happy about it. I think it’s the extra engagement I need to really make the serious weight loss goals I have for myself for this year. And I’ll be blogging about what I’m learning.
In short, for the first time in many years, I have a really clear vision of where I am trying to go with my weight. Over the past several years I’ve refined my vision of the process of managing my weight without driving myself insane, what I call “Low Stress Weight Loss”. This year I’m trying to marry the two, to really lose a big chunk of weight, and to still keep myself from going off the deep end of diet obsession.
But action, attention and focus will all be necessary for the success of this endeavor, and I’m ready.