I’ve come to view these so-called “negative” feelings as rather fascinating…not to mention how much data they can provide for me if I choose to feel them.
I had an interaction recently that triggered some old, ugly thoughts/feelings/behaviors. I found myself the next day moping around, with seemingly insatiable hunger, wanting to get stuff done but distracting myself with Facebook instead. Then I’d get up and look in the fridge or cupboard, hoping for something mind-numbingly yummy to appear.
And then I realized that I what I really needed to do was to just allow myself to be frustrated and angry…because right after the aforementioned interaction occurred? I wall all, “I’ll take the high road…I’m choosing not to go there! Lalalalala!”
So finally I just allowed myself to get angry. I did a little exercise whereby I gave my anger the voice it was asking for.
I sat down and wrote, “I’m pissed because…FUCK YOU!”
That was the first thing I wrote! And I kept writing, “I’m angry because…” and more and more stuff poured out until I finally got to the truth.
It was only then that I was able to calm down and ask myself how I wanted to feel…knowing that it’s my feelings that ultimately drive my behavior.
And no one, including myself, was harmed as a result of the anger I chose to feel.
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a trillion times: it’s not about never feeling negative emotions…it’s about knowing that I have a choice, and that sometimes choosing anger is supremely necessary. When I allow myself to feel it all the way through, I can move on.
Do you give your emotions the voice they are asking for? Do you know how? The process is simple…it’s recognizing the need to do so that sometimes trips us up.