1. the act of forgiving or the state of being forgiven
2. willingness to forgive
Now, today I am not talking about forgiving others. I am referring to forgiving ourselves.
All too often, we are unreasonably hard on ourselves. Mean, even. Why?
As a Type-A personality, I know that if I don't exactly fit to the mold that I think I should be, that I beat myself up about it. Then come the feelings of low self esteem, of failure, and of fear for never getting "better".
Yet I work with people who continuously "Screw Up", people with addictions, people who have trouble forming and maintaining healthy relationships, people with zero coping skills. I have absolutely no trouble counseling them on the importance of forgiving themselves, telling them to take time to work on themselves, to let themselves get better. That they Deserve that.
We all deserve our own forgiveness. I think when we (especially the Type-A's out there) can begin to forgive ourselves for our "Short Comings" that we can start to accept our past, and create a healthier, happier future.
I forgive myself for eating terribly, not exercising, and becoming overweight.
I forgive myself for excessively counting calories and obsessing about losing weight, resulting in Hypothalamic Amennorhea, Sciatica, and Disordered Thinking that brought me to the edge of an eating disorder.
I forgive myself for re-gaining some weight.
I forgive myself for loving Chocolate.
I forgive myself for not walking my dogs every day.
I forgive myself for hurting my Intercostal Muscle.
I forgive myself for cheating on a Math Test in Grade 10 and Shoplifting a T-shirt from Zellers in Grade 11.
I forgive myself for all of the mean things that I have said to myself over the years, I am good enough, and I am worth it.
I forgive myself for forgetting to tell my Mom that my Dad wanted her to drop me off at his house early on Halloween when I was 6.
I forgive myself for all of the McDonalds Binges.
I forgive myself from running away from all of the feelings.
Thank you for all of the kind words in regarding my last post. The pain is less, but still present. I am modifying my workouts, doing lots of walking, practicing some Yoga, and avoiding crossfit (tear). I am hopeful to feel good enough by the 7th to start Marathon training, however the crossfit workouts on my schedule will most likely be modified to something less strenuous for the time being.
Do you struggle with forgiveness? Self acceptance?